SMILEY (2012)

Directed by Michael J Gallagher, Starring: Caitlin Gerard, Roger Bart, Keith David, Horror US, 2012, approx. 91mins, cert 15.

CANDYMAN meets SCREAM in this cyber-urban legend. Updating the call-his-name-five-times-in-a-mirror tale for the YouTube generation, anonymous users on an internet chat room can call up ‘Smiley’ by typing the phrase: “I did it for the lulz” (plural variant of ‘lol’ apparently) 3 times whilst ‘chatting’. Unlike Candyman however, ‘Smiley’ doesn’t appear behind the typing summoner, but rather behind the chatter at the other end of the webcam. Never mind friend ‘deletion’ on Facebook, this is online execution (for real).

When Ashley (Caitlin Gerard) the new girl on campus, attends a house party and views the result of a ‘Smiley’ internet-chat, it sets in motion a chain of events that will challenge her already fragile state of mind and ultimately force her into confronting ‘Smiley’ face to face.

Speaking of Smiley’s face, he’s so-called due to his sewn up eye sockets and mouth resembling a smiley symbol. Unfortunately, I somehow doubt this tale will leave horror fans smiling by the time the credits roll (and the post-credit tag for those who stick with them).

Director Gallagher throws up a whole heap of jump-scares right from the off which soon become tiresome and numbs the effectiveness of later moments. To be fair there is a potentially interesting premise at the heart of the film, and Smiley’s scarred face is nicely designed (albeit in a sub-Cenobite kind of way). Unfortunately he’s rarely glimpsed for long, and his carnage is half-hearted and uninspiring. Roger Bart (so memorable in HOSTEL 2) plays a professor who delivers ominously sounding but largely meaningless pronouncements on the nature of mankind to destroy itself. Keith David (looking ridiculously good for his 57 years) is wasted as a sceptic cop who refutes Ashley’s accounts of net-slaughter. When the true nature of Smiley is revealed (and it’s none too original at that) it doesn’t really add up. Perhaps even the filmmakers share this view as they don’t stick to this explanation and instead offer a lame add-on which opens a door for a sequel which in all honesty I hope is blocked by firewall software. 

** (out of 5*)

Paul Worts

(Originally published on the FrightFest website)