Directed
by Kevin Kolsch, Dennis Widmeyer, Gary Shore, Nicholas McCarthy, Ellen Reid,
Sarah Adina Smith, Anthony Scott Burns, Kevin Smith, Scott Stewart, Adam Egypt
Mortimer Starring: Seth Green, Ruth Bradley,
Madeleine Coghlan. Horror. US, 2015, 100mins. Cert 18
“Holidays
are hell”.
A
slickly produced portmanteau of eight short tales each set on or around a
holiday or significant calendar date.
The
anthology film has seen a revival in recent years with the likes of TALES OF
HALLOWEEN, SOUTHBOUND and the V/H/S series picking up the baton from Michael
Dougherty’s superb TRICK R TREAT (2007) - which in turn took up the tradition
from CREEPSHOW. Tracing back further still, we had the Amicus delights of FROM
BEYOND THE GRAVE (1974) and DR. TERROR’S HOUSE OF HORRORS (1965) for example, and
stretching right back: Ealing Studios classic DEAD OF NIGHT (1945).
HOLIDAYS
isn’t in the same league as most of the above, for one it lacks any sort of
wraparound like Mervyn John’s delightfully dreadful recurring nightmare nor can
it boast an iconic host like Peter Cushing’s tarot reading ‘Doctor Schreck’, or antiques dealer “Naughty,
shouldn’t of done that”. But with eight tales crammed into its modest 93min
pre-credits running time, if the current story doesn’t grab you take you can
take comfort in the fact only have to wait around 11mins for the next one to
unfurl. Having said that there are some treats as well as soft-centred mediocre
misses in this Pick n’ Mix collection.
The opening
tale set around Valentine’s Day is a fairly pedestrian CARRIE referencing take
on high school bullying where put upon Maxine (Madeleine Coghlan) ‘maxi-pad’ is
literally pushed too far and her crush on the swimming coach has heart-felt but
fatal repercussions.
Director
Gary Shore (DRACULA UNTOLD – but we won’t hold that against him) delivers a
tongue in cheek Ken Russell LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM-like segment for St.
Patrick’s Day. Shore gets great visual mileage out of taking the allegory of
Patrick driving ‘snakes’ out of Ireland literally. Ruth Bradley (GRABBERS) is a
primary school teacher desperate to have a child. When her ‘deepest wish’ seems
to have comes true, her initial joy is somewhat tempered by her gynaecologist
delivering the news by asking: “Have you ever seen the Hollywood movie
‘Rosemary’s Baby”? “If you replace ‘Baby’ with reptile...that’s what you have”.
If
you’ve ever wondered what you’d get if you fused the image of the Easter Bunny
with that of the post-crucifixion Christ, look no further than Nicholas (THE
PACT) McCarthy’s disturbingly memorable mash-up.
Mother’s
Day is served somewhat unsatisfactorily by an underwhelming story of a young
woman who constantly finds herself pregnant, despite her insistence that her
boyfriend wears 2, sometimes 3 condoms! Prescribing an unorthodox approach, her
doctor suggests a desert commune of earth mothers.
Next
up is a memorably flawed segment for Father’s Day, involving an ominous
planetary alignment, and a perplexed daughter receiving a tape recording from
her long-thought dead father. Unfortunately, despite daddy’s message promising:
“this will all make sense at the end”, it doesn’t.
Kevin
Smith gets what you’d consider the plum gig with Halloween, but instead directs
a lazy uninspired revenge tale of 3 web-cam girls who turn the tables on their
nasty pimp employer in graphic fashion.
Seth
Green stars in the Christmas tale which seems set to riff on JINGLE ALL THE WAY
but rapildy steers off into darker waters when a dad seemingly misses out on
acquiring the must-have Xmas toy for his son (a VR headset names UVU, which
ominously promises to ‘shows you YOU’) Loved the sign inside the closed
toy-shop’s door: ‘Children left unattended will be sold to the circus’.
The
final calendar date sees in the New Year with a bloodbath when an online dating
search leads to a serial killer biting off more than they can chew as Auld Lang Syne rings out from Times
Square on the TV.
HOLIDAYS
is a reasonably diverting assemblance of folklore riffs and twisted seasonal
clichés, but I’d stop short of saying it’s truly worth decking the halls with
boughs of holly for.
***(out of 5*)
Paul
Worts
Originally published on the FrighFest website.