SCREAM 7 (2026)

This review contains spoilers.

Full disclosure: I’ve never been overly invested in this franchise. Sacrilege I know, but I still maintain that even Wes Craven’s original was (and still is) overrated - and I was there first night in the cinema on its initial release. 

The Scream films for me are the Scooby Doo of slashers with the masked killers often having less believable motivations than the villains Shaggy and the gang unmask (particularly here). Sure they’re watchable, disposable, slick, slice and dice Saturday night popcorn fare - but no more. And I know this will be seen as a ‘hot-take’ - it honestly isn’t meant to be - but I genuinely prefer ‘Scary Movie’ (the original) over Scream (1996).

7 is yet more of the same, with added nostalgic callbacks (one using AI which links to the Scooby Doo franchise once again) that feel clunky and overcompensating for the inherent weaknesses in the script, and the enforced big pay check return of Neve Campbell after the intended lead Melissa Barrera was disowned for expressing an opinion.

To be completely fair, there’s a nifty opening pre-credits sequence (only partially ruined by the trailer), which cleverly gets the obligatory backstory covered, a couple of gruesomely inventive deaths and some decent jump-scares along the way in its favour.

But the plot holes and implausibilities (yes, even by slasher standards) become gapping chasms which, for me, ultimately sink(hole) the final third - and don’t get me started on the actual killers, their reveals, and their weakest of weak motivations.

Some spoiler(ish) thoughts:

1. How many high schools happen to have a flying wire rig for a school play? (Clearly they must be better funded than schools in England).

2. What’s the point of an escape room if you can’t just safely STAY PUT in there and alert the authorities to your plight knowing the killer (or one of them) isn’t dead and still in the house.

3. When checking a house for residue Ghostfaces, don’t you think the police would have checked the attic (or haven’t any of them seen ‘Black Christmas’?)

4. Speaking of police, where the heck were they for the WHOLE of the final third?

5. I can accept a bullet-proof vest (it’s actually plausible), but how come the killers are even standing after the (fully deserved) physical punishment meted out to them, and with barely a visible scratch on them - they’re not Jason Voorhees and therefore don’t have regenerative tissue (see ‘Jason X’ - it’s canon)?

Look, despite the above I will admit I did enjoy watching this on my local multiplex IMAX screen, and yes, I’d probably go and see Scream 8 - but, if I’m honest - I’d rather not have a Scream 8 to go and see...

*** (out of 5)

Paul Worts

ROBIN ASKWITH - DIFFERENT TIMES (1st December 2025 - Phoenix Arts Club)

Performed by Robin Askwith on December 1st 2025 at the
Phoenix Arts Club, London. A Misty Moon event. 

Confessions of a Robin Askwith event virgin...

With the smoke machine cranked up to '11' and the stage lights in maximum overdrive, Robin Askwith bounded onto the stage like a 'Spinal Tap' rockstar and proceeded to thoroughly warm the cockles and charm the chuckles from his packed (sold-out) audience with a cornucopia of tales and fascinating insights from his colourful cult career.

Currently a regular in the hugely popular 'The Madame Blanc Mysteries' TV-series, (of which there is apparently an Xmas special coming), 'Different Times' showcased Askwith's reflections on how the film/tv industry has changed and transformed over the years along with societal attitudes... In a fascinating evening encompassing anecdotes ranging from Pier Paolo Pasolini to Pink Floyd, this former onscreen window cleaner/pop performer/driving instructor/holiday camp rep etc, shared tales of on and offscreen shenanigans filtered through the nostalgic lense of time. 

This show has apparently evolved over an incredible 130 gigs (so far!) but on the evidence of this night I can fully appreciate why Robin's events have snowballed in popularity and are so warmly received - he even has a dedicated band of supporters, 'The Askwith Army' (a term I thought reserved for K-Pop bands). Not only does he bring the (literal) warmth of the Mediterranean island of Gozo (where he resides) with him - most welcome on a cold December evening - but he also brings a disarming brand of honesty, and cheeky charm, much like his most familiar onscreen persona. Speaking of cheeks (and let's face it how could you not?), in recounting his recent bare-cheeked cameo in 'Inside No.9', Robin really got to the bottom (sorry) of intimacy coordination and modesty underwear - neither of which existed back in the 70''s either for Robin nor for his female co-stars...

Personally, I've always thought Robin Askwith to be a underrated actor who brought (and continues to bring) far more to his roles beyond just the cheeky-chappie persona then he was ever given credit for. Genuine and sustained likeability is a quality not to be underestimated and I found it heartening that the packed and enraptured Phoenix Arts Club audience clearly shared my opinion. In an ongoing career that's spanned from bawdy Chaucer to seaside postcard saucy, from 'Ray Fay' (Queen Kong), 'Timothy Lea', (Confessions...'), 'Gordon Laid' ('Let's Get Laid'), 'Robin Askwith’ - who? - ('Inside No.9') and now to 'Jeremy Lloyd James' ('The Madame Blanc Mysteries' - of which did I mention the upcoming Xmas special?) Mr Askwith has amassed a positive treasure trove of tales from which I've no doubt he'll continue to plunder for the pleasure of not only ' The Askwith Army', but for anyone who is fortunate enough to snag a ticket to one of his shows for quite some time to come. 

So, my only remaining question is, when's the next one...?

Paul Worts

REUNION (2025)

Directed by: Jason Read. Starring, Bill Fellows,Nicola Bryant,
Nadia Chambers. Short, Fantasy, UK, 2025, 8mins.

A Misty Moon production. 

“It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers” - Terry Pratchett, 'Good Omens'.

In writer/director/auteur Jason Read's latest short, 'Reunion', we learn that the Devil's tunes are apparently being belted out on hell's throne by Cilla Black as a surprise (surprise) to really bad sinners. Meanwhile, Liberace is tinkling the ivories at the pearly gates... 

Originally conceived as a two-hander for Brian Murphy and Dudley Sutton, (with Brian as God and Dudley as the Devil), sadly both these dearly missed souls departed this mortal plane before the project could be realised. However, divine inspiration came to producer Stuart Morriss who re-cast Bill Fellows (Coronation Street, Ted Lasso) as God, and Nicola Bryant (Doctor Who, Blackadder's Christmas Carol) as the Devil.   

Having tracked the 'supreme being' down to a retirement home - where he's turned himself human to take a sabbatical from 'celebrity fatigue' - the Devil confesses that "Devilling's no fun without a nemesis." For his part, God concedes it's really nice to see his fallen angel again...and neither can recall exactly what they fell out about in the first place...

Following in the footsteps of Elizabeth Hurley and Jennifer Love Hewitt, Nicola Bryant is a seductively sassy Satan. Here the Devil (literally) wears Prada whilst God wears pyjamas,  albeit "still sporting the sexy beardy look." Jason Read's delightfully devilish and witty script manages in a lean 8 minutes to somewhat miraculously encompass: just who God actually intended to inherit the planet before disaster struck; evolution; the real benchmark against which you're judged fit or not for heaven (clue: what does 'God' spell backwards...?); and just who is and who isn't filling up heaven these days...

Deliciously played by both Fellows and Bryant, each relishing their respective roles as the archetypal celestial beings, by the time the smoke dissipates and the credits roll with 'I don't Want to Set the World on Fire' (not performed by Jess Conrad), it's hard not to feel privileged to have been invited to this very special 'Reunion' - and harder still not to sing its praises.

(N.B. I would however caution against accepting a cuppa from that nurse Rosemary (Nadia Chambers) whilst watching it...)

***** 

Paul Worts

FRANKENSTEIN UNCHAINED! (27th October 2025 - Phoenix Arts Club, London)

Performed by Madeline Smith & Jason Frederick - Monday 27th of October 2025 at the Phoenix Arts Club, London.

To date, there have been over 400 full-length films and over 300 TV shows and series featuring various incarnations of the monster born out of Mary Shelley's cautionary gothic tale, itself stitched together during an uncharacteristically cold summer in 1816 at Lord Byron's villa on the shores of Lake Geneva. 

There was however nothing remotely uncharacteristic about the autumnal chill in the air as I turned off Charing Cross Road and headed down the splendidly spooky cobweb-themed stairs of the legendary Phoenix Arts Club to experience ‘Frankenstein Unchained!’ presented by Misty Moon Exhibitions and Events.

It is somewhat fitting this inventive multi-media retelling of Mary Shelley‘s classic Frankenstein features a fulsome live narration by the iconic film, stage and television actress Madeline Smith given that her previous contribution to the Frankenstein franchise was her portrayal of a mute assistant to Peter Cushing’s Victor Frankenstein in Hammer’s ‘Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell' (1974).  Thankfully now gloriously unmuted, Madeline’s narration breathed tangible life into Shelley’s literary creation through a triad of voices depicting not only the novel’s narrator (Captain Robert Walton), but also of the fatefully misguided scientist Victor and his monstrously tragic creation.

Whilst the narration was delivered from the right-hand side of the stage, to the left-hand, behind keyboard and an array of instruments sat Jason Frederick, a Canadian multi-instrumentalist film and television composer performing live parts from his new original soundtrack, complemented by moving images on a large screen backdrop which acted as a canvas for archival montages from past screen incarnations of the timeless tale. Frederick’s score was seductively evocative, the music ebbing and flowing with the dramatic beats of the story, offering up a soundscape capturing the initial heady hopes to the descent into horror and chilling despair. Like Victor Frankenstein himself, Frederick often could be seen reaching behind the far-left curtain to produce various instruments with which to stitch and sew together his haunting soundtrack.    

I found the whole performance absolutely spellbinding and it’s a testament to its original creator Mary Shelley, and to both Madeline Smith and Jason Frederick that on 27^th October 2025, for 90 terrific minutes, I can testify that Frankenstein was once more truly alive. 

Paul Worts.   

THE COMMISSION (2024)

Directed by: Jason Read. Starring Adrienne King, David Barry. Short, Horror, UK, 2024, 5mins.

A Misty Moon production.

“I think you’ll find this is going to be quite an experience...”

Written, rehearsed and shot all within the space of 48 hours, Jason Read’s short and sweet love letter (or rather postcard given its succinctness) to the original Friday the13th (1980) is both beautifully played and executed (no pun intended).

With a premise as meta as meta can be, Adrienne King, playing herself - who originally played ‘Alice Hardy’, Camp Crystal Lake’s original final girl in the seminal slasher Friday the13th (1980) – is invited to a quiet village in England to have a waxwork made of her by ‘Dudley’ (David Barry), a famous sculptor residing in a historically quaint cottage. Upon arrival, Dudley informs Adrienne that: “this is the most I’ve ever been paid for a commission”, but when Adrienne asks about the client’s identify, all Dudley reveals is: “Let’s just say he’s a super-fan…”.

Pulling this project together from scratch at such short notice was quite some feat, but it’s a remarkable testament to all involved in the production, most notably writer/director/editor and composer Jason Read, that it delivers with such a deftness of touch and an affectionate nod and a final girl wink to horror fans.

Adrienne King is clearly having fun playing herself (even sporting her original ‘Alice Hardy’ hairstyle) whilst referencing her own visual artistry and of course her most iconic film role as the vanquisher of ‘Pamela Voorhees’: “…I am a bit familiar with beheadings myself”. The inimitable British comedy actor David Barry (who remarkably only became involved 12 hours before the shoot) plays the sculptor ‘Dudley’ (in a nice homage to the sadly missed actor Dudley Sutton) with delicious nervous relish: “Once I get started, it tends to get a bit messy”,  and both he and Adrienne are great fun to watch as they interact to Jason Read’s impishly foreshadowing script.      

The references to ‘Friday the 13^th’ are carefully placed for the fans (and super-fan) and helmer Jason Read is generous in this regard. The soundtrack features a couple of sprinkles of composer Harry Manfredini’s iconic: ‘Ki Ki Ki, Ma Ma Ma' – one accompanying the arrival of a Southern region train into Robertsbridge station! The second can be heard as Dudley hangs up Adrienne’s coat – which just happens to be next to a yellow rain mac bearing a remarkable similarity to the one worn at Camp Crystal Lake. And speaking of which, I think I just might have spotted a glimpse of one of Adrienne’s original paintings depicting Camp Crystal Lake to the far right of the frame in the same shot. Producer and founder of Misty Moon productions, Stuart Morris cameos as the ‘Villager’, (IMDb lists his character as ‘Ralph’ in another wink to the franchise) – although in giving Adrienne directions he stops short of informing her Rose Cottage has a death curse!    

As well as the specific Friday the 13^th references, the actual cottage interiors offer some fascinating mise-en- scene including striking sculptures of vampiric ‘Mr Barlow’ from the TV series ‘Salem’s Lot’, Lon Chaney from the lost ‘London After Midnight’ and most notably the nightmare-inducing ‘Child Catcher’ from ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’.

Premiered for cast and crew in London’s Phoenix Arts Club on 27^th January 2025 before hitting the festival circuit, ‘The Commission’ has already garnered awards – in fact it won 10 (!) at The Hollywood Blood Horror Festival. It’s easy to see why, and I’m certain there will be many more in the pipeline as it’s a perfectly gift-wrapped treat for horror fans and Friday the 13^th aficionados the world over, and I for one am glad it got commissioned.       

****

Paul Worts

THE FIRST OMEN (2024)

From a wimple to a scream.

(Nun)necessary retconned prequel that is a reasonably well-crafted film in its own right, just not a particularly effective or suspenseful horror film.

The Omen sequels became increasingly precursors to the Final Destination franchise with their host of supernaturally determined and often spectacularly staged death scenes. In first-time helmer Arkasha Stevenson’s prequel, the handful of reworked set-pieces, clearly intended as homages to the Richard Donner 1976 original, land more with a whimper (or should that be a wimple) than a bang. The exception being the “It’s all for you” hanging - now upgraded to include self-immolation. It does however feel as if Stevenson is either mildly ashamed or reluctant to include them at all but must fulfil certain tick boxes along the way. There is however some surprisingly upfront body horror in the shape of a couple of squirm inducing birthing scenes (including one brief – albeit MPAA compromised - memorably devilish gynaecological image).

The extended runtime allows scope to develop the relationship between Nell Tiger Free’s novice nun ‘Margaret’ and troubled teen ‘Carlita’ (Nicole Sorace) amongst the corridors of the orphanage in Rome, together with the cigarette smoking trampolining sisters reminiscing about good-looking milkmen! Screenwriters Tim Smith, Keith Thomas and Stevenson try to work a ‘twist’ as to who Damien’s mummy is really going to be – but as a mystery it’s a bit of a non-starter. The script does however serve up a tasty morsel by suggesting the Catholic church themselves engineered the birth of the antichrist to boost congregation numbers!   

But eventually the narrative must be nudged towards (ret)connecting to the original’s plot by way of ‘Rosemary’s Baby’.  But belatedly cueing up Jerry Goldsmith’s masterful (Oscar winning) composition Ave Satani only serves as a reminder of the more proficient 1976 shocker. The narrative join-up is clunky and not only fails to connect all the dots, (particularly the original identity of Damien’s birth mother) but also throws in added unnecessary elements – presumably to add some more meat to The Second Omen – if there is one? 

To be completely fair, the 120-minute runtime doesn’t actually feel like 2 hours, and the build-up to the climatic final third is reasonably absorbing. Nell Tiger Free carries the film with a committed performance - even at one point channelling Isabelle Adjani in Possession (1981) - whilst the supporting cast, including Bill Nighy’s creepy cardinal and Ralph Ineson (essaying Patrick Troughton’s ‘Father Brennan’) provide solid dependable support. And any film covering this kind of pseudo-religious mumbo-jumbo subject matter that manages to avoid giving a multiplex crowd cause for unintended sniggers or titters for 2 hours is an achievement in itself (albeit in a mid-afternoon audience of approx. a dozen patrons at my screening).   

The main issue is the contractual obligation to tie things up - and as we already know the outcome - it’s somewhat of an anti-(Christ)climax.

Still, there are sufficient good omens in the crafting of this prequel to suggest Stevenson is a director to watch once she gets to shape a work not so chained by pre-existing material.

***(out of 5*)

Paul Worts 

GODZILLA x KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE (2024)

“Just try not to swallow your tongue” ‘Trapper’ (Dan Stevens) advises podcaster Bernie (Brian Tyree Henry) as they start the psychedelic descent into the Hollow Earth in Adam Wingardium Leviosa’s Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. Clearly Wingard’s tongue is firmly in cheek in this unabashedly goofy sprawling follow up to his neon-drenched 2021 helmed Godzilla vs. Kong.

 

The ’vs.’ in 2021’s title may now have been replaced with ‘x’ to signify a truce between the two titular titans, but it’s a fragile pact at best, briefly crumbling in a rumble in Egypt (due to Godzilla misinterpreting Kong’s request for assistance) which reduces the pyramids of Giza to rubble. Thankfully, our favourite giant lizard is brought to his senses by Mothra, swooping in like an ethereal WWE referee and re-focusing our heroic monster on the prime objective.

 

Even more Kong-centric than 2021’s ‘vs.’– albeit largely explained by the fact the majority of the action this time around is centred in (and below) the Hollow Earth - Godzilla is at times regulated to quick ‘travelogue’ updates. One minute he is seen stomping up the Tiber in Rome, the next he’s topping up his atomic radiation in the Arctic. Meanwhile, back in the Hollow Earth, Kong is being led into a monster fish-infested lake by deceptively cute wide-eyed mini-Kong Suko in true Smeagol / Gollum style before encountering the evil Skar King and his ancient ice-powered titan Shimo. Being so expressive and a gentle giant (at times), there’s always fun to be had with Kong, none more so than when he's suffering from toothache, resulting in kaiju veterinarian ‘Trapper’ (Dan Stevens – a barmy but welcome addition to the cast) abseiling into his jaw to perform dental surgery, or upgrading a frost-bitten arm with a power-glove.

 

The eventual titan showdown is truly spectacular, offering up the gloriously gonzo sight of Godzilla et al spiralling through an anti-gravity vortex in the Hollow Earth before surfacing on a beach in Rio de Janeiro which is frankly worth the price of IMAX admission alone.

 

Back in 2021, thanks to a certain global pandemic, UK kaiju aficionados were deprived of a cinematic release of the previous heavyweight titan set-to. Thankfully Wingard’s second outing playing in the kaiju sandpit is available in full expanded IMAX glory (and even post-converted 3D if you really want it). Sure, it is wildly uneven, skittering all over the place (and the world), but it still delivers terrific giant monster mayhem and fun. No, it is not Godzilla Minus One (a superb achievement in it’s own right and a deserved Oscar winner to boot), but then it is not remotely trying to be that film either. There is however plenty of room in the kaiju cinematic universe for both types of interpretations, and judging by the box office figures coming in, audiences across the globe are more than happy to find more room for Godzilla and Kong to grace IMAX screens once again. 

(Polite request: please can we have a more Godzilla-focused outing next time Adam?).   

**** (OUT OF 5*)

Paul Worts

An interview with Kirsten Baker (Terry from Friday the 13th Part 2)

Former actress and model, Kirsten Baker's place in the Friday the 13th franchise hall of fame is safely assured thanks to her iconic portrayal of the ultimate nubile teen counsellor 'Terry' in Friday the 13th Part 2'.  

Born in Norway, Kirsten Baker came to the US when she was just 6 weeks old having been adopted by US foster parents.

I caught up with Kirsten recently in London where she was a first-time guest appearing at London Film & Comic Con. Kirsten admitted to me that she was still adjusting to transatlantic jet lag so sightseeing wasn't a major priority so much as her hotel bed! She did however graciously grant me a quick interview in between signing autographs for her many fans so I started by asking about Norway and given how young she was when she relocated to the US, whether she'd been back since?     

“I’ve been back as a foreign exchange student (a long time ago), like 1976. And I went when I was 16 and explored the native country that I came from and boy it was amazing! So different from the United States and the UK even. I actually speak a little bit of Norwegian:  "Hvordan går det med deg?” (Translation: “How’s it going with you?”).

Very well indeed thank you Kirsten! Now I understand that the makers of Friday the 13th Part 2 had pre-selected you in advance and so you didn’t have to audition for the role of ‘Terry’?

“No, that’s correct, they offered it to me.”

And you hadn’t seen the original film before accepting the role had you...?

“No”

Am I right in saying you are not a big fan of horror films per se?

“Right, I’m not too big of a fan”. 

But you can make an acception and watch Friday the 13th Part 2?

“Oh yeah, it’s fun. I think it’s a good movie. I like the ensemble cast that we had”.

I was going to say there’s a discernible good vibe amongst the cast in that instalment. How did you get on with Russell Todd (who played your over-eager pursuer/stalker ‘Scott’)?

Scott was always chasing me…”

What for real, as well as on camera?

“Ha! No, just on camera – we were friends”.

(Well that's a relief). And I have to ask about your character Terry's very cute pet Shih Tzu, ‘Muffin’…?

“Ok, Muffin actually didn’t die”.

[You heard it hear first folks! That’s nice to hear, however implausible given the onscreen evidence to the contrary]. Anyway, Kristen did get to bond with the impeccably groomed canine offscreen: “Muffin liked me, and I liked Muffin.”

Obviously, you didn’t have an onscreen death [Kirsten's character Terry discovers Todd hanging suspended upside down with his throat slit, turns and screams directly into the Steadicam] but did you have an actual death detailed in the script?

“No, it was an oversight in the script.”

That’s ridiculous!

“Isn’t it? Something that important.”

But then we see you (or at least your lifeless corpse) lying by Jason's shrine to his mum Mrs Voorhees in his shack towards the film's finale, and there’s some discernible makeup on your face but that’s the only hint we have of your demise…

“That’s right, so I can come back!”

Exactly! And all these years later, why do you think it is that Friday the 13th Part 2 has to this day not only maintained - but if anything increased -in affection and appreciation amongst the fans of the franchise and beyond?

“I think it was the ensemble cast."

For me personally, I think it’s the scariest film in the entire series. Every case member is absolutely fabulous, (Jason is at his scariest in his burlap sack) and you of course were absolutely fabulous in it as well. So thank you for being in my favourite franchise of all time! 

“Thank you very much, you’re welcome!”   

Interview by Paul Worts conducted on 7th July 2023.

 

PAREIDOLIA (2023)

Directed by: Aaron Truss. Starring Diane Franklin, Graham Cole, Carolyn Pickles, Joe Acres. Short. Horror, UK 2023, 13.5mins.

A Q Cumber Films & Misty Moon production. Festival screenings ahead of official cast & crew premiere on 16th October 2023. 

Pareidolia: a situation in which someone sees a pattern or image of something that does not exist, for example a face in a cloud.

The literary ghost stories of M.R. James are littered with academic scholars foolishly poking around in matters they shouldn’t and often unleashing supernatural entities upon themselves. In PAREIDOLIA (how undeniably cool is that title by the way?) university lecturer Sinead Chambers, (Diane Franklin, Amityville II: The Possession), sets her students an assignment to go out and photograph examples of pareidolia. Unfortunately for Sinead, her own curiosity attracts a very real entity which appears intent on unleashing its own lesson – in fear and mortal dread – upon her.

There is a ton of material both included and implied in the modest runtime of this crisply paced, tightly edited, and strikingly lensed short sharp spooky shock fest. Director Aaron Truss delivers a punchy tale, scribed by Aaron's dad Aiden, and it’s obviously a labour of love to the horror genre. A frankly astonishing cast is assembled for a modest crowdfunded project headed up by 80’s icon Diane Franklin, who pulls out all the stops as her terrified lecturer plays hide and seek in the on-off dark with a flashlight in standout sequences reminiscent of The Conjuring and Lights Out. Ably supported by British TV stalwarts Graham Cole and Carolyn Pickles who bring assured quality to the tale, and a nice turn from Joe Acres as the archetypal wisecracking mortuary attendant, the technical acumen behind the lens is proficiently complimented by the onscreen talent.

Lovely nods to the classic franchises come courtesy of the radio announcer ‘DJ Micki Myers’ voiced by Sandy (“Michael’s around someplace…”) Johnson - Michael Myers’ sister and first victim in Carpenter’s seminal original Halloween - here referencing another Carpenter film, The Fog with her ‘Stevie Wayne’ like weather warning. And Friday the 13th also gets a sly cameo courtesy of a carefully framed bottle of Adrienne King’s ‘Crystal Lake Wine’!

It's an ambitious short, (when was the last time French sociologist Jean Baudrillard was referenced on screen?), with a number of potential threads that could easily dovetail off into a full-length feature, or even dare I say it, a franchise. For example, there’s a potential prequel exploring Father Cavanagh’s past and previous run-ins with the entity. But for now, unlike the dictionary definition of the film’s subject matter, there’s more than plenty to see in plain sight in PAREIDOLIA, a scary warning to the curious, and the lurking dread in its dark corners will likely cause you to keep your lights permanently on at night…        

****

Paul Worts

CULT OF VHS (2022)

Directed by: Rob Preciado. With: Graham Humphreys, David
Gregory, Michael Keene, Kevin Martin. Feature-length documentary. 89mins. Strangelove & Q Cumber Films & Studio POW.

World premiere screening at Arrow FrightFest on 28^th August 2022.

“VHS you know, it’s like vinyl, if vinyl kinda sucked.” (Michael Keene (‘The Head’, ‘Fatal Future’).

Despite the above opening quote, Rob Preciado’s documentary about the VHS video format is a kind rewind back to the origins of the home video revolution. It’s a fascinating celebration of the experiences of the renters, the mom-and-pop (US) and corner shop (UK) independent video stores, the current-day collectors and curators of the treasured tapes bound in amaray boxes, and a speculative fast-forward to the future: will VHS enjoy a vinyl-like renaissance?

It revels in the tactile (sometimes forbidden) pleasures of under-age viewing of age-inappropriate horror films. It highlights the luscious and at times lurid cover art which lured us into renting those often obscure and dodgy titles, whilst celebrating arguably the finest exponent of the art, the UK’s very own Graham Humphreys.

Naturally, no discussion of VHS can take place without considering the ‘video nasty’ saga – something which us UK horror fans of a certain age still have nightmares (in our damaged brains) over the vilification and moral panic which saw some of our beloved gore fests being withdrawn, or cut to ribbons, robbing us of most of the best bits.

CULT OF VHS draws in the (often moving) global experiences from a multitude of fans and collectors both young and mature. From Mexico to Holland, from Australia to Spain as well as here in dear old Blighty. Conceived during lockdown, it’s poignant that so many of the interviewees highlight the advantage of being able to watch a physical copy of a film as opposed to having to rely on your broadband speed to stream a selective algorithm-curated range of largely mainstream fare. Whilst the world was stuck at home who had the last laugh when internet providers couldn’t cope with demand...?

Accompanied by a suitably rocking retro synthwave soundtrack, a bounty of old VHS adverts and juicy trailer snippets – and a fabulous opening credits sequence homaging John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’, CULT OF VHS is a love letter to VHS for both seasoned home video romantics, and a timely reminder to current and future generations of the advantages and unadulterated pleasure of owning physical media – whether that be in ultra-HD, or pan-and-scan snowy tracking 4:3 VHS.

“VHS is a cult, but it’s not the creepy kill yourself cult, it’s the let’s kick ass and let’s be good to each other kind of cult because movies fucking rule, and in a time like this, escapism is the best and their ain’t no better escapism than trying to go back to the 80’s and 90’s when life just seemed simpler”. (Kevin Martin, Owner of the Lobby Videostore).

****

Paul Worts

COLD MOON (2016)

Directed by: Griff Furst, Starring: Josh Stewart, Frank Whaley,
Chester Rushing, Candy Clark. Horror, US 2016, 83mins, Cert 15.

Approximately 55 minutes into this adaptation of Michael McDowell’s 1980 novel ‘Cold Moon Over Babylon’, a coffin levitates out of its freshly dug grave, explodes, and deposits a snake-like creature bearing a remarkable resemblance to Michael Keaton’s ‘Betelgeuse’. Given author McDowell co-wrote Tim Burton’s BEETLEJUICE, this is either a belated tribute to the late writer (who died in 1999), a cynical attempt to miss-sell this Southern gothic tale of supernatural revenge, or a complete coincidence (admittedly, Candy Clark’s Grandma Larkin is a dead ringer for the “...ghost with the most...”).

It’s 1989. Down at the Larkin Blueberry Farm in Babylon, Florida, Jerry Larkin (Chester Rushing from MY FATHER DIES, STRANGER THINGS), is worried the blueberry yield is getting lower every year, and those red repayment reminders building up in the kitchen drawer look increasingly likely to spell foreclosure in the not too distant future. But Jerry and his grandmother Evelyn (the venerable genre Candy Clark, hugely over-emoting here) have a more immediate concern: why hasn’t Jerry’s 16 year old sister Margaret not returned home from cycling into town to help her teacher Mr Perry...?

There’s a lot of plot strands all desperately straining for screen time in this unnecessarily overcomplicated ghost story. Like the muddied waters of the river which Margaret Larkin’s strangled corpse is fished out of, the narrative focus constantly seems to be shifting, which, whilst never dull, makes for an uneven, muddled experience. There’s a murder mystery for starters (who strangled Margaret?) which is then abandoned at the start of the second act when, in a double-whammy that the film never really recovers from, not only is the killer revealed, but they also brutally dispatch two of the main characters by unflinchingly beheading one before swiftly running a sword through the other! As I said, dull it certainly ain’t! Then, whilst the sheriff (Frank Whaley) does his best to complicate matters further by arresting an innocent man on the basis of a clue stitch-up even the writers of Scooby-Doo would baulk at, the unsympathetic bank manager who’s been itching to grab the deeds to the Larkin Farm, Nathan Redfield (Josh Stewart), is consuming increasingly vast quantities of hard liquor and drowning his liver whilst seemingly transforming into Sean Penn with every swig. Meanwhile, his wheelchair bound dad James, (Christopher Lloyd, wasted – in the role I mean, not literally like his on screen son Nathan) spends most of his limited screen time nonsensically ranting whilst leering at his nubile cheerleading babe carer, who’s favourite past-time is trying on new bikinis – when she’s not sleeping with his alcoholic son that is – and who also just happens to be the sheriff’s daughter to boot.

There’s the obligatory scene of characters watching NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968) on TV for those who wish to play genre cliché bingo. The Tommy Wiseau cameo is of the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it variety (who thought that would ever be a selling point anyway?),

Oh yes, I nearly forgot, there’s also the ghost of strangled Margaret Larkin, floating around town suspended in mid-air peddling her invisible bicycle and generally harassing her killer at inopportune moments. These yield some visually striking flourishes, but even she too flounders (along with her fellow haunters) in the near hysteria of a film which is trying to cram too much of a novel into its relatively modest running time. Ultimately, COLD MOON eclipses itself.    

 ** (out of 5*)

Paul Worts

This review was first published by FrightFest.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2022)

Directed by David Blue Garcia. Starring Sarah Yarkin, Elsie
Fisher, Mark Burnham. Horror, 2022, 81 mins, Cert 18.

Available to stream on Netflix from 18th February 2022.

"The only way to deal with an invasive species is to eradicate them." [with a chainsaw] 

Leatherface gets a retcon facelift in this direct sequel to Tobe Hooper's seminal 1974 classic. Taking its lead from the rebooted Halloween franchise, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2022) eschews all the previous TCM prequels, sequels and reboots whilst employing artistic amnesia by erasing the entire Sawyer family; thereby granting our chainsaw monster the status of orphan for nearly 50 years.    

Helmed by David Blue Garcia (no, me neither) from a story by the Evil Dead (2013) / Don't Breath tag-team of Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues, this latest entry in the face peeling franchise sees a disappointingly brief return for original final girl 'Sally Hardesty' to face-off (so to speak) against her one-time nemesis. Sadly Marilyn Burns passed away in 2014 so the original's 'final girl', now a Texas Ranger (albeit a not very good one) is portrayed by Olwen Fouéré in a frankly underwhelming few minutes of screen time.

The aforementioned invasive species of the film are a bunch of young millennial "Gentri-fuckers" led by Melody (Sarah Yarkin, a spitting image of 80's Diane Franklin) and Dante (Jacob Latimore). Somewhat implausibly, these two restaurateurs and social media influencers have assisted a bank in buying up an abandoned Texan town and are coaching in a busload of potential young hipster investors to auction off the old dilapidated properties to transform the town into a trendy 'village' of restaurants and art galleries. (In reality, their sole raison d'être is to augment the film's body count as human cattle for literal slaughter). There's just one problem with this regeneration project - the sick and elderly remaining tenant running the local orphanage claims she still retains her property deeds - and the last remaining 'orphan' upstairs has been with her ever since 1973 when he was taken in as a troubled teen "...that needed me to show 'em mercy for their ways."            

Reports of a troubled production, (original directors being fired after underwhelming dallies and allegedly disastrous test screenings) combined with the decision to drop a theatrical release and dump it straight onto Netflix meant expectations were lower than usual for a TCM entry (if that is actually possible at this point in time). 

Credit where it's due however, this is the first installment to actually deliver an on-screen chainsaw massacre. There's certainly no scrimping on the (largely practical) gore, despite the film's ruthlessly pared-down running time, with the coach/bus (UK/US translation) scene a truly Bacchanalian bloodbath. 

The abandoned town setting gives off House of Wax (2005) vibes, and visually feels more like a Western (despite bizarrely being filmed in Bulgaria) albeit with kitchen rather than saloon doors swinging open to reveal a gruesome tableaux. Plotwise, Leatherface (Mark Burnham) is essentially Jason Voorhees this time around. The death of his mother-figure, Mrs MC (Alice Krige), who knowingly harboured a mass-murdering butcher all these years, here sparks his murderous instincts back to life, and persuades him to crank up the old 'saw once more. Of course Jason didn't honour Mrs Voorhees by skinning mummy's face and using it as a mask, but both are adept at constructing rudimentarily gruesome altars of sorts to their respective deceased matriarchal guardians.

The truncated brevity of the film's running time results in the ruthless slaughtering of the majority of characters without giving us any real time to get to know them (although perhaps here this isn't always such a bad thing). The relationship between Sarah Yarkin's 'Melody' and her younger sibling 'Lila' (Elsie Fisher), a lone survivor from a High School shooting, is still reasonably affecting however. The sisters form an interesting tag-team when they are forced to pair up against old, near-geriatric, but still surprisingly nimble Leatherface. Moe Dunford also brings an ounce or two (no more mind) of nuance to the role of local gun-toting rootin'-tootin'  petrol polluting mechanic 'Richter' who bonds with Lila over a rifle and some clunkingly obvious foreshadowing. 

Visually, the film offers some striking sequences, such as the chainsaw blade slicing through floorboards like a deadly metallic shark fin, and the finale staged in an abandoned flooded moviehouse which allows Leatherface a watery jumpscare as he launches out of a submerged rain filled basement (instead of a lake onto a canoe, surely I don't need to spell out this visual nod?). The photography is pleasingly free from shaky-cam, which allows the often richly detailed production designs space (if not time) to be appreciated, and the set-pieces are nicely choreographed to generate at least a modicum of tension. 

Sure there's some gaping, chasm-wide plot holes: was Leatherface really so hard to find that he remained undetected for so long purely because he'd worn a mask? Had he been working out in an unseen home-gym in the orphanage throughout all those intervening years to make him so spritely (and seemingly impervious to bullets)? 

But brushing obvious faults aside, this is still a slick, sick thrill-ride with just enough meat on the bone in terms of script to hook one's attention for 81 mean-spirited, nihilistically splattery minutes deep in the heart of Texas (or Bulgaria).

****(out of 5*)      

Paul Worts

A HYMN FOR HER (2022)

Directed by: Emma Pitt. Starring Linda Marlowe. Short. 

Horror, UK 2022, 9mins.

A Misty Moon & One Eyed Man Music and Film Production. 

Premiering at the Genesis Cinema, as part of The Dark Side magazine’s DarkFest 5 in November.

“I’m not a monster.”

Whilst viewing award winning writer/director Emma Pitt’s latest short film A HYMN FOR HER, I was very much reminded of a Pet Shop Boys song entitled ‘Invisible’: “After being for so many years, the life and soul of the party, it's weird, I'm invisible.”

Former starlet ‘Rosemary De Souza’ (Linda Marlowe) sits in front of her mirror surrounded by posters and framed imaged reminders of her younger self reflecting to her reflection on her heyday years past, the adulation and attention she once commanded, garnering rave reviews and turning heads as a young glamorous actress. Now, with the ageing of time, Rosemary feels herself invisible and largely ignored by a society that assigns a woman’s value and worth on looks and pigeon holes and prejudices based on the superficial exterior of youth and perceived ‘beauty’. Barged into without a hint of an apology, sneered at in a boutique, on the receiving end of unsolicited advice “for women of your age” from her hairdresser, and ignored whilst waiting to be served at the bar: a day in the life of ‘Rosemary De Souza’.

But, as ‘Rosemary’ confides directly to us, “When I said earlier I do nothing about it, that’s not strictly true…”

Having been executive producer on Misty Moon’s previous short: READY FOR MY CLOSE UP (about a fictional fading homicidal B-movie actress), the venerable Linda Marlowe - whose own illustrious stage, film, and TV career is neither fictional nor B-movie in quality – here brings her A-game to writer/director Emma Pitt’s poignant and pithy tale of societal patronisation.

After soliloquising into her bedroom mirror, Marlowe breaks the fourth wall to brilliant effect. Pitt’s script gifts Marlowe with some juicy barbs such as: “It’s not you, it’s my secretary who’s 20 years younger than you” when ruthlessly translating her husband’s attempt to justify leaving her, and the sharply inflected expletives land like verbal grenades. And even without dialogue, Marlowe’s turn to camera upon being advised to consider a bob by her stylist manages to convey the film’s theme in just one succinct gesture.

All this is not to say the film is in anyway preachy or ‘woke’. Rosemary’s exacerbations never ring as hollow posturing and Marlowe draws us along with her sympathetically before her plight simmers over from frustration to boiling point and we are invited to be complicit in her very literal strategy for dealing with a cutthroat world.

There’s fun to be had in spotting cameos from Deborah Voorhees (director of 13 FANBOY and ‘Tina’ from FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V), Hayley Greenbauer (13 FANBOY) and the amusing ‘missing’ posters cropping up during both mid and post end credits: one featuring producer Stuart Morris; and one of Rosemary’s ‘missing’ husband, played by Dave Sutherland, who also contributes the end-credits song ‘Meadow Daises’.

Speaking of which, the song's melody is also employed in the film’s opening, treated with a haunting piano arrangement from DOP and editor Jason Read which sets the off-key tone of the film perfectly. There’s also some nice use of Mozart and later Tchaikovsky to accompany the grand guignol macabre.

Whilst Linda Marlowe’s ‘Rosemary De Souza’ is largely unnoticed to the world and invisible, A HYMN FOR HER very much deserves to be seen by audiences who will surely sing its praises.  

 ****

Paul Worts

THE BLACK FOREST (A MATA NEGRA) 2018

Directed by: Rodrigo Aragão. Starring: Carol Aragão, Elbert
Merlin, Francisco Gaspa. Brazil, 2018, 98 mins. 

Sam Raimi's EVIL DEAD meets Lloyd Kaufman's POULTRYGEIST, with a seasoning of Michele Soavi's DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE in this bloody bananas Brazilian folktale.

Naïve foundling teenager Clara's (Carol Aragão) eventful and hostile first excursion into the nearby village concludes with her coming into possession of a demonic spell book known as Cipriano's Black Book. The book's dying owner warns Clara to burn this Necronomicon of black magic after entreating her to perform a ritual from its pages to aid his soul passing peacefully into the afterlife in exchange for a bag of gold coins. Unfortunately for Clara, the villagers, and ultimately all of humanity (but not for us viewers), the lure of gold leads to tragic consequences and Clara's increasingly desperate attempts to redeem the situation by resorting to darker and darker magic from her book of spells results in the boundaries between life and death blurring amidst a bloodbath of hellish retribution.  

For a modest budget, director Rodrigo Aragão delivers a heady intoxicating cornucopia of nightmarish set-pieces and some gloppy practical gore effects in a (quite literally) all hell breaking loose final third featuring demonic chicken embryos, reanimated corpses, an exploding head and demonic disembowelment. 

Before unleashing his KFC bargain bucket of blood, Aragão’s magical realism tale lands a couple of critical punches towards religious hypocrisy and a few stabs at socio-political themes. None of which detract from the essence of this cautionary terror tale warning of the potential perils of selling your soul and renouncing your moral beliefs.

It's a rollicking yarn, directed with maniacal assurance and infectious gusto, and given Aragão's resources, quite a coup (or rather coop considering the demonic fowl he unleashes).

****(out of 5*)

Paul Worts

AMSTERDAMNED (1988)

Directed by: Dick Mass. Starring: Huub Stapel, Monique van
de Ven, Serge-Henri Valcke. Holland 1988, 104mins. Certificate 15.

Thanks to streaming on Amazon Prime, this was a rewatch after a 30+ years gap from when I first caught it at the cinema on its initial release. It took many years to get that damned catchy ‘Amsterdamned’ end credits song out of my head, so now of course after all these years it’s once more taken up long-term lodging in my brain. Damn you ‘Amsterdamned’!

I have a lot of time for Dick Mass flicks, which is just as well given that here he stretches the (admittedly nifty) premise out to just 7 minutes short of 2 hours. And whilst this Dutch frogman canal giallo/slasher is relatively restrained with regards to the body count and actual on-screen kills, it more than compensates with:

• zippy dialogue (even surviving relatively intact in the English dubbed version),
• gloriously immersive location work,
• quirky throwaway moments such as the bakery holdup,
• cheeky references to ‘Jaws’,
• outrageous set-pieces:  e.g. the very messy tourist canal boat ride, the James Bond like over the top speedboat chase, and a restaging of Nancy's Elm Street bathtub nightmare on an inflatable with a rather large knife.

 Definitely worth a punt down these murderous Dutch canals.

 P.S. all together now…

"Amsterdamned, Amsterdamned, ooohooo

This is Amsterdamned

 Amsterdamned, Amsterdamned, oho

(This place is damned!)

This is Amsterdamned"

****(out of 5*)

Paul Worts

SHADOW IN THE CLOUD (2020)

It’s Murray Futterman’s ‘Nightmare at 20,000 Feet’. 

Chloë Grace Moretz‘s World War 2 take on Ellen Ripley sees her fending off a gremlin on the wing, an aircrew of (mostly) salivating misogynists, Japanese fighter planes, and the basic laws of physics as she fights to protect her secret carry-on case and its precious contents.

An increasingly ludicrous premise which climbs to hysterical hysteria (and then manages to ratchet it up yet another notch). Roseanne Liang directs the hell out of it, delivering a jaw-dropping WWII creature feature and bringing it in to land with a rousing aplomb whilst Moretz pummelled me into helpless giggling submission. 

Hugely enjoyable over the top fun.

*****(out of 5*)

Paul Worts

GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES (1988)

Directed by Isao Takahata, Featuring the voices of: J Robert
Spencer, Rhoda Chrosite, Veronica Taylor and Amy Jones.  Animation, Japan, 1988, approx. 90mins, Cert 12.

Based on Akiyuki Nosaka’s semi-autobiographical novel, writer/director Isao Takahata’s 1988 Studio Ghibli anime focuses on 14 year old Seita and his 4 year old sister Setsuko, and their desperate struggle to cling to life and hope amidst the scorched ruins of a firebombed Japan in 1945.

With father away serving with the Japanese navy, Seita and his little sister live with their unwell mother in the city of Kobe. During a devastating air raid by US forces, the two children are separated from their mother and upon emerging from the dust and smoke are confronted with a decimated landscape. Forced to flee the rubble they initially escape to the countryside to stay with an aunt. Tensions soon mount as food supplies become scarcer and Seita takes the decision to leave their aunt and seek refuge on their own. Alone, they face an arduous struggle for survival.

Not an obvious choice of subject matter for an animated film then.

This is a profoundly moving and truly unforgettable piece of filmmaking. It fully deserves its status not only as classic anime, but also as one the greatest war films ever made. The depiction of the horrors of war are presented with searing honesty and without overwrought manipulation. Director Takahata himself experienced an air-raid when he was 10 years old and this clearly infuses the bombing sequence with a chilling level of authentic detail. The awful 'beauty' as the glowing firebombs fall from the sky, the eerie silence before the flickering flames of the incendiary devices burst into deadly life and rip through wooden homes without mercy are images which seer straight to the mind's'-eye and linger.

Although Seita and little Setsuko’s plight is heart wrenching, director Takahata takes time to pause from the inevitable bleakness and gives the children precious moments of innocent pleasure and beauty. Running on a sandy beach and paddling in the sea. Sharing a bath, Seita uses a piece of cloth to create an air bubble which splashes a giggling Setsuko. And of course we have the magical glow of the fireflies, caught in numbers to illuminate their abandoned sheltered hide-out. These gentle bittersweet scenes stand out like sun rays bursting through the storm clouds of war.

This is not an anti-American film. The B-29 bombers that drop their deadly cargo are of course US, but the film is not about apportioning blame, but instead about the loss of innocence and the consequences of war.

Originally released in Japanese cinemas as a Studio Ghibli double-bill with the charming MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO, audiences understandably gravitated toward Miyazaki’s sweet fable compared with its more challenging and provoking accompaniment. (The intention was for TOTORO to be the soothing second feature balm, I can only imagine the impact if the audience had watched FIREFLIES after TOTORO). I freely admit I sobbed uncontrollably at the closing image. But this is a film everyone should see. It may not be one you can easily revisit time and time again, but even if you only watch it once, you will never forget it. 

*****(out of 5*)

Paul Worts