R.I.P.D. (2013)

Director: Robert Schwentke. Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Bacon, Jeff Bridges, Mary-Louise Parker, Stephanie Szostak. USA 2013, 96 mins. This film was well and truly R.I.P.P.E.D. to pieces when it was released (eventually) in the US. Completed back at the end of January 2012, its release date was pushed back to June 2013 - with no advanced critic screenings...Was the ripping unfair? Yes and no. To put my review in context, I viewed R.I.P.D.(3D) on the August Bank Holiday Saturday at 9pm on the massive Empire One screen as part of FrightFest 2013. The audience put on their 3D glasses and with popcorn buckets in hand, prepared to meet the film at least half-way. Based on the inevitably darker 'Rest In Peace Department’ comic book by Peter M. Lenkov (Dark Horse Entertainment), R.I.P.D. shamelessly rips off M.I.B. Such is the extent of this 'wholesale borrowing' you wonder whether the creators have had their own memories of MEN IN BLACK  wiped by neutralizing pens - or perhaps they think the audience has...? Instead of hunting down aliens, the R.I.P.D. (consisting of deceased law enforcement officers) track down "Deados", spirits that have failed to cross over and are trapped on Earth as ghost monsters. Grumpy old grizzled Agent K - erm, I mean grumpy old Sheriff Roy Pulsipher, (Jeff Bridges), a former US Marshal from the old Wild West, is partnered with newly recruited and newly deceased Boston Detective Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds). Bridges delivers his dialogue as if chewing a gob-full of tobacco whilst sucking on a Willy Wonka everlasting gobstopper. It must have been tempting to add subtitles in post-production - but it's worth pulling your ears back as he delivers some real gems. I can't recall many other mainstream 12A's which include a character relaying how he watched a coyote pleasuring himself with his dead skull, to which his partner replies: "I hope he got both eyes Roy".  Another nice touch is that the two deceased cops are assigned avatars back on Earth. Ryan Reynolds appears as an elderly Chinese man (played by James Hong) and Bridges is perceived as a stunning blonde (Marisa Miller) - who keeps getting wolf-whistled by workmen. Mary-Louise Parker (in the Rip Torn role) pulls off a deadpan interview with newly arrived Detective Walker, nicely juxtaposing the spectacular preceding sequence when he is sucked up into the clouds and plonked in the stark white interview room.  But, apart from this set-piece, the CG ghost monsters are somewhat ropey, surprisingly ropey given the film's alleged budget - and the majority of the effects work on screen looks very run-on-the-mill and clichéd. The post-conversion 3D is intermittently effective - the aforementioned 'heavenly-calling' sequence being particularly striking - and there's a few in-your-face: duck! moments thrown in for good measure. Ultimately however, R.I.P.D. doesn't amount to a great deal, with the seriously unimpressive finale almost single-handedly deflating any goodwill the film has previously built up. The underlying feeling is that there are promising elements jumbling around within the vortex of this film - but rather than them fusing together into a cohesive whole, they shoot off at tangents - sometimes hitting the target - and sometimes flying well wide of the mark. But on that Saturday night at FrightFest it provided an undemanding and largely entertaining 96mins - not enough to justify the zero's in the budget - but certainly worth a carton of popcorn. *** (out of 5*) Paul Worts

THE ASSASSINS (2012)

Directed by Linshan Zhao, Starring: Chow Yun Fat, Liu Yi Fei, Tamaki Hiroshi, Historical Drama, China, 2012, 103mins approx, cert 15.
Released in the UK on Blu-ray and DVD by Universal Pictures (UK) on the 9^th September 2013

First-time director Zhao’s historic tale opens underground with an ant scrabbling towards the surface to investigate a disturbance in the earth above. The cause is a young boy and girl running to escape the clutches of horse-back riders. Both are swiftly captured and find themselves herded into a vast cavernous ‘place with no sunlight’ together with scores of other children. There they will spend years being mercilessly trained to be assassins. As time passes, our two ant-disturbers Mu Shun (Tamaki Hiroshi) and Ling Ju (Liu Yi Fei) grow up to become lovers. But the course of true love most certainly does not run smooth. Ling Ju is (somewhat unwillingly) castrated and Mu Shun is dispatched to the Bronze Sparrow Tower to become the concubine of Chancellor Cao Cao (Chow Yun Fat) – “the most powerful man in the world” – the man they have unknowingly been training all those years to assassinate...

I cannot lie, my knowledge of this period in Chinese history - known as the ‘Three Kingdoms’ - was (and still largely is) non-existent. It’s by no means a prerequisite in order to enjoy the film, but you will need to pause and rewind the end title cards of historical facts which flash up so quickly that they’re impossible to read on first sight.

What isn’t possible to miss is the superb Chow Yun Fat. The film sets out to portray the infamous warlord Cao Cao in a more sympathetic light than in previous incarnations, and Chow Yun Fat’s performance is subtle, majestic and mesmerising. In fact he is so good in the role, that the scenes in which he doesn’t feature seem relatively flat in comparison.

HATCHET III (2013)

Director: B J McDonnell. Cast: Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Zach Galligan, Caroline Williams, Derek Mears. USA 2013, 81 mins.

After watching HATCHET III it is my sincere hope that the ghost of Victor Crowley is now finally at peace because I cannot imagine a better send-off for the deformed swamp monster than HATCHET III.

Picking up right where HATCHET II left us, Danielle Harris’ Marybeth is caked in Victor Crowley’s blood having shot-gun blasted his deformed head to pulped jelly. Kicking his trusty hatchet away into the swamp grass she staggers exhausted toward the camera, collapsing onto her knees, bloodied fists still clenched. After a moment’s pause she rises and moves off at the exact same moment Victor (Kane Hodder) sits bolt upright in the background ala Michael Myers in Carpenter’s original HALLOWEEN.

Yes we’re back in those swamps, but this time we’ve got a new swamp-tour guide at the helm, Steadicam / camera operator extraordinaire BJ McDonnell, making his directorial debut after being given the directing reins by HATCHET creator / gatekeeper Adam Green. Having been involved on both previous instalments and boasting an awesome resume of previous film credits, the choice of giving McDonnell his first directing gig was a shrewd – as well as incredibly generous – decision. McDonnell rewards Green’s faith in him with a thrilling juggernaut of a film. Lensing duties rest with another HATCHET veteran, Will Barratt, who together with McDonnell present Victor’s swamps in glorious widescreen ‘scope.

Green’s script is a splatter cake sprinkled with crowd-pleasing in-jokes and cameos. His own cameo follows on from the previous two instalments to form a (drunken) character arc – and there’s a fine gag involving his own writing abilities. The director doesn’t miss out either as he’s briefly glimpsed holding a roll of toilet paper alongside Green during a quick camera pan across a prison cell. I won’t spoil any of the other goodies, but given that the two previous outings have included cameos from the likes of Robert Englund, John Carl Buechler, and legendary Lloyd (Troma) Kaufman, you can be sure the writer has a few bunny rabbits up his sleeve.

But with all these fan-spoiling nods and winks going on in the background, there’s still a story to tell here, and in Danielle Harris’ portrayal of Marybeth with have yet another outstanding performance from the genre’s most consistent and reliable actress. Harris is a gift for directors and McDonnell is smart enough to invest generous screen time in her. He is also given strong support from genre favourites Zach Galligan as Sheriff Fowler and Caroline Williams as Crowley expert Amanda who both throw themselves into their roles with unabashed gusto.

And then we have Derek Mears’ no-nonsense SWAT officer Hawes, nonchalantly flicking a pair of severed testicles dangling from a tree, who of course is in those swamps to provide us with the much anticipated (albeit brief) Jason vs. Jason showdown with Hodder.

The Crowley make-up is more defined this time thanks to a switch from traditional foam latex to silicone – allowing more expression in Hodder’s performance. The total weight of Kane’s make-up appliances added up to a staggering 50 pounds, which when coupled with the sweltering Louisiana swamp conditions meant Hodder suffered for his art like never before on this shoot.

But despite all those layers of silicone, Victor’s gory un-rated hands-on mayhem is still all present and correct – complete with arterial geezers – although the actual kills are snappier and less lingering than in the previous outings.(The one exception being the protracted punishment suffered by Crowley himself both at the hands of Marybeth and by an unfortunate misplaced and fully-operational chainsaw).

The finale where the remaining participants attempt to lay the spirit of Victor’s ghost to rest for good brought, I must admit, a touch of moisture to my eye. Not so much out of sentiment, (although there is a startling moment of pathos amidst the gory-soaked resolution) but more so out of shear relief that Green and McDonnell hadn’t f*cked up at the end but had instead given the legend of Victor Crowley a truly worthy and satisfying send-off.

Having been in the 2006 FrightFest audience when Adam Green first came to London with HATCHET (which had the rather daunting task of playing immediately after the UK premiere of Guillermo del Toro’s PAN'S LABYRINTH), I’ve always felt an affectionate affinity for the HATCHET films. Clearly created by someone with a genuine love of the genre - and by a genuine fan of the genre – and I’m very pleased to report that HATCHET III is no different.

***** (Out of 5)

Paul Worts

PARA ELISA (FOR ELISA) 2012

Director: Juanra Fernandez. Cast: Ana Turpin, Ona Casamiquela, Luisa Gavasa, Jesus Caba, Sheila Ponce. Spain, 2012. 80 mins. Spanish with English subtitles. MISERY meets THE BABY (1973) in this creepily effective Spanish shocker. In order to raise the 1,000 Euros needed to pay for her post-graduation trip, student Ana (Ona Casamiquela) answers a job advert pinned to a post outside her university for a temporary nanny position.  Arriving at the apartment, Ana is offered a cup of tea by Elisa’s mother Diamantina (Luida Gavasa), a former professional pianist who reminisces about playing at the Royal Albert Hall and is fiercely protective of her collection of antique dolls. Unbeknown to Ana, this is merely the prelude to a nursery-rhyme nightmare in which she will soon find herself trapped as a living doll for Diamantina’s daughter, and Elisa (Ana Turpin), has a tendency to play rough... Writer/director Juanra Fernández’s debut feature is a strikingly assured piece of work. Richly photographed in ‘scope, from the mesmerising opening credits sequence through to Ana’s ascent into the foreboding shadows of Diamantina’s apartment, it’s a visual delight. The lead female trinity are all superb, bringing subtle detail to their respective and equally challenging roles, adding a layer of conviction which helps to accentuate the madness which eventually surfaces in Diamantina’s demented dolls house. Fernández orchestrates the increasingly bloody playtime within apartment 3B with such panache that the interwoven scenes involving Ana’s drug-dealing boyfriend Alex’s increasingly desperate attempts to locate her become almost unwelcome distractions. FOR ELISA (PARA ELISA) boasts a relatively short running time (80mins), but it’s a deliciously disquieting and ultimately disturbing tale which lingers long in the memory. **** (out of 5) Paul Worts

YOU'RE NEXT (2013)

Director: Adam Wingard. Cast: Sharni Vinson, AJ Bowen, Joe Swanberg, Amy Seimetz, Ti West. USA 2013, 95 mins. Director Adam Wingard's much-heralded home-invasion mash-up isn't quite the genre game-changer it's been built up to be. (That accolade still resides with Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon for THE CABIN IN THE WOODS). But it certainly delivers a barrel load of visceral viciousness, wicked black humour, and in Sharni Vinson's Erin we have the finest final-girl to have fought her corner in years. The Davison’s gather for a (rare) full family reunion to celebrate a wedding anniversary. It soon becomes painfully clear why they don’t hold reunions more often as the palpable tension and barbed comments overspill and seething resentments are laid bare across the dinner table. But just as the insults and recriminations really begin to fly, a crossbow bolt crashes through the dining room window and rather inconveniently embeds itself in one of the attendees. Understandably, panic ensues as it soon becomes obvious that the house is under attack and the only dish now on this dinner party menu is death.   Wearing (instantly iconic) animal masks – the faceless assailants proceed to infiltrate the house and embark on a programme of slaughter. Unfortunately for them, one of the guests is harbouring remarkable fighting qualities and embarks on her own campaign of violent resistance.   Director Wingard certainly has his finger on the pulse regarding audience expectations. Like a seemingly demented chess-master he manoeuvres the characters around the chessboard of clichés with unabashed glee – occasionally moving his ‘pawns’ into groan-inducing situations leading to clearly-telegraphed deaths – and then with his next move ‘check-mating’ the audience with an unsuspected  sucker-punch plot-twist or revelation. For spoiler reasons I must keep my comments intentionally vague on these, but I will say that I found the first third of the film to be the most effective – before the screenplay’s trickiness really comes into play. But then we have the outstanding Erin (Sharni Vinson) facing her would-be executioners with such lethal resourcefulness that a camp counsellor posting at Crystal Lake would surely hold no fear for this killer chick. From Aussie soap HOME AND AWAY to home invasion horror, whatever’s next for Ms.Vinson; I’d suggest a Fangoria Chainsaw Award for best actress is a cast-iron certainty just for starters... With a minor but telling tongue-in-cheek role for fellow genre director Ti West, and the perfect treat of iconic genre favourite Barbara Crampton, Adam Wingard’s credit rating with fear fans must surely be riding high right now. (It was already assured in my eyes following his excellent 2010 offering A HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE and his effective segment in V/H/S 2).   So in summary, trick or treaters have a new costume option available to them this Halloween – and film goers now have a perfectly credible option should they fancy a spot of crafty cinematic body-count mayhem.  ***(out of 5*)   Paul Worts

CURSE OF CHUCKY (2013)

Director: Don Mancini. Cast: Fiona Dourif, Brad Dourif, Danielle Bisutti, Brennan Elliott, A Martinez. USA, 2013. 90 mins. Chucky's back in this darker sixth instalment in the CHILD'S PLAY franchise. As someone who could never take Chucky remotely seriously I really enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek approaches of both BRIDE and SEED OF CHUCKY. But this time creator/writer and director Don Mancini has instead chosen to appease those fans who wished for Chucky to be 'scary' again. Picking up after the events of CHILD'S PLAY 3, a package is delivered to the unsuspecting Nica - wheelchair-bound since birth - and her mother, who live in a gothic old house in the woods. A house which features one of those antique lifts, with metallic sliding shutters, which operates excruciatingly slowly and is guaranteed to fail just when the heroine needs it most... Mancini builds a nice atmosphere of dread and expectation in the early sequences when Chucky first arrives.  He holds back from revealing Chucky's true-nature as long as he possibly can - initially offering us little more than a widening glimmer in the doll's eyes. The arrival of Nica's family following a funeral provides everyone's favourite mannequin-from-hell with a sprinkling of potential victims and there's much fun to be had guessing whose going to be on the receiving end of Chucky's wrath first. (There's also an outrageous crowd-pleasing character revelation which is inspired). The anticipation builds until finally Chucky can hold back the torrent of venomous profanities bubbling up behind those deceptively inanimate plastic lips no longer. The mayhem that ensues is fairly lack-lustre (with the exception of an early spectacular gore set-piece), but Fiona Dourif (daughter of Brad) throws herself into her role as Nica and her tussles with Chucky are carried off with a reasonably convincing menace. A special mention is in order for the show-stealing turn from Danielle Bisutti as Nica's pantomime-villain sister Barb. And it almost goes without saying that Brad Dourif's voice-work is reliably on the money as always. The denouement is surprisingly dark and the extended post-credit coda throws fans two delicious cameos and a lip-smacking pay-off which is arguably worth the price of admission alone.  ***(out of 5*) Paul Worts

THE DEAD 2: INDIA (2013)

Directors: Howard & Jon Ford. Cast: Joseph Millson, Meenu, Anand Goyal, Sandip Datta Gupta, Poonam Mathur. UK 2013, 90 mins. In 2010, the Ford Brothers gave us the award-winning and critically acclaimed African-based zombie apocalypse road movie: THE DEAD. For the sequel they've swapped continents and plonked our new hero, British wind-turbine engineer (now that's a phrase you don't regularly see in print) Nicholas Burton in India. In fact we are firstly introduced to him as he's suspended half-way up a wind turbine fiddling with some wires trying to phone his pregnant girlfriend Ishani several hundred miles away. The dead begin to rise, unsuspecting bystander’s arms begin to get bitten, and soon the hospital is swamped with incoming 'bite' victims. As if that wasn't enough, Ishani's father has forbidden her from continuing the relationship with the Westerner whilst her mother lies in the next room feeling decidedly under the weather as a result of a random bite attack on the street... The Ford Brothers are not covering new ground with this film, although it has to be said the ground they do cover is strikingly photographed. The wind farm sequence when Nicholas (Joseph Millson, the convincingly compassionate action-hero) looks down on a slow-motion zombie attack, a nightmarish motorbike ride through the dark wilderness and a field of freshly dug graves being notable visual highlights. The slow shuffling white eyed zombies are eerily effective and the actual attacks are grim and hard-hitting. This isn't a film to cheer on the gut-munchers - or indeed our hero - particularly when he's faced with a dilemma involving a mother and child trapped in a crashed car with the undead surrounding them. There is an emotional core to the film which threatens at times to lapse into over-sentimentality. However, the performances of the key players are genuine and raw and this authenticity adds credibility to their plight. The Ford Brothers DEAD films are not easy shoots - conditions are challenging at best, and potentially life-threatening at worst - but the results are impressive. THE DEAD 2: INDIA is an assured and confident piece of film-making from a double-act which on this evidence provide much promise for the future. *** (out of 5*)  Paul Worts