DARK SKIES (2013)

With architect dad (Josh Hamilton) having recently been made redundant, and estate agent mum (Keri Russell) seemingly unable to seal any house sales, financial pressures are starting to take their toll on the suburban Barrett household. Relations with their 13 year old son are becoming increasingly strained and their younger son Sam is beginning to worry that dad may be about to move out after hearing his parents arguing at night...

And so far we’re just in an ordinary domestic drama played out against a manicured lawn street in average middle-America. Then things start to turn spooky. The contents of the fridge are strewn across the kitchen floor. Domestic items appear stacked in an intricate formation. All the family photographs on the mantel-piece are suddenly missing from their picture frames. The recently reactivated security alarm system goes off in the middle of the night and it appears the sensors were tripped at all 8 potential entry points into the house. Oh yes, and 3 separate flocks of starlings crash into the house simultaneously.  

The Scala Cinema - A love letter

My first visit to the Scala cinema in Kings Cross was in 1991. I’m not entirely sure quite how this sleazily salacious and gloriously gory fleapit had escaped my radar for quite so long. But somehow it had - and it may have done so for longer still had it not been for an unrated screening of ‘The Borrower’ (John McNaughton’s follow-up to his ferociously stunning debut Henry: Portrait of a serial killer.) I’m pretty sure it was the “unrated” prefix which drew me like a moth to the flame; the allure of an uncensored non-MPAA/BBFC butchered piece of celluloid. If memory serves me well The Borrower wasn’t all that great – but it introduced me to the Scala – and for that alone its importance in my cinematic voyages cannot be underestimated.

HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS 3D (2013)

"Whatever you do, don't eat the f*cking candy".

Having dispatched the wicked witch into the intended infanticide inferno, (so far so Grimm), little Hansel and Gretel grow up to be professional witch slaughterers.

As far as plots go, director Tommy ('Dead Snow') Wirkola's US debut feature isn't exactly candy-coated in complexity or character. Instead we are treated to oodles of weaponry and witch offal flying into our faces in spirited 3D. Gemma Arterton's Gretel firstly headbutts and then later on bites a lump out of the Sheriff's nose. Jeremy Renner's Hansel wisely steps back to avoid the fall-out from a vomit-exploding witch and gets to canoodle in a forest pool straight out of an advert for Timotei shampoo with a strikingly statuesque white-witch. 

Acting honours go to the giant troll 'Edward'. It says a lot about a film when the only character to illicit any real emotion or sympathy is essentially a huge animatronic head with Derek ('Jason Voorhees) Mears inside it. Then again, it shouldn't really be a surprise when the head bad-witch 'Muriel' played by Famke Janssen, admitted in a press-conference that she only took the role to pay off her mortgage!  

The action sequences are often confusingly edited to the point where it's hard to make out who's doing what to who. And the grand finale involving massed ranks of witches flying in to gather on a mountain top (resembling the Devil's Tower landing strip from 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind')  is thrown away almost before it's started.  

But ultimately H&G:WH's is just pure undemanding (make that very undermanding) popcorn fun. It certainly can't be accused of outstaying its welcome, and it certainly delivers enough eye-blinking 3D fodder to just about justify wearing the specs (even though this makes the darkened forest scenes almost indiscernible.) I could have done with some genuine humour instead of lazy 'F-bomb' expletives, but I guess one only finds true Shakespearean witches in 'Macbeth'.

***(out of 5*)

Paul Worts

PIRANHA 3DD (2012)

Piranha 3DD’s director John Gulager signals his intentions to deliver on the 'doubling-up' promise of this sequel right from the off by enlisting two veteran actors in cameos for the pre-credit mayhem. In Alexandre Aja's 2010 reboot we were treated to Richard Dreyfuss in a not-so-subtle nod to Jaws. This time we get the double delight of Gary Busey and the director's dad Clu Gulager wading into a dark lake to investigate a dead floating slab of livestock (deadstock?).

Previously, we were treated to the gloriously gross stereoscopic sight of Jerry O'Connell's character's chewed off penis floating in front of our eyes before being gobbled down and then promptly spat out by a discerning razor-toothed beastie. In Piranha 3DD, we get coitus piranhas interruptus thanks to one deadly fishy swimming against the spawning incoming sperm and exiting through a vagina and latching itself onto an unfortunate chaps love gristle (thereby turning it decidedly grisly). But that's not enough for Piranha 3DD, so he decides to chop it off at the stem. We then double-up with a 3D close-up of a piranha wedged into the backside of one chap whose favourite past time appears to be pleasuring himself with the aid of the suction from the pools outflow pipe.

Christopher Lloyd is back to provide further pearls of piranha wisdom (with the aid of a helpless frog at one point), and David Hassel (The Hoff) Hoff sends himself up mercilessly playing himself playing a lifeguard. Ving Rhames returns sans legs but improvises with a Rose McGowan Planet Terror like customisation to blast a few of the biting blighters. Amongst all the mayhem and the obligatory gratuitous DD nudity, Danielle Panabaker makes a sterling effort of trying to deliver her lines with a straight face and I'm pleased to report she survives this aquatic onslaught unlike her 2009 reboot trip to Camp Crystal Lake (Friday the 13th). She does however have to suffer the indignity of a bath scene, the raison d'être for which I'll give the director Gulager the benefit of the doubt over and suggest it’s an intentional homage to Heather Langenkamp's NOES tub shot and Barbara Steele's encounter with David Cronenberg's parasites from Shivers.

The piranha themselves hiss, growl and turn menacingly toward the camera as implausibly as you'd expect, but even though they often seem capable of leaping huge distances to lunge into the audiences face they aren't given wings ala James Cameron's Piranha II: Flying Killers – (should’ve remade that in 3D instead of ‘dances with smurfs’ Jim) although that's not to say they aren't evolving in another major way according to the final reveal...

Overall, I have to be honest and say I had a real blast watching 'Piranha 3DD'. Having the advantage of not needing to explain the piranha's existence it wastes little exposition time and gets down to the mayhem right from the off. The 3D photography, despite exhibiting 'ghosting' in certain scenes, really stands out (sorry) during the shock set-pieces and the gimmick seems to be utilised far more than in the previous effort. The gore effects are as cheesy as the film itself, but as cinematic junk food goes it delivers the ketchup (and the buns), slap bang in your face, and for me that's all I want from a movie entitled: Piranha 3DD – so bite me!

***(out of 5*)

Paul Worts

AMERICAN MARY (2012)

The twisted Soska Twins indie debut feature film: Dead Hooker in a Trunk, a gutsy homage to grindhouse exploitation, made seismic ripples throughout film festivals worldwide when it surfaced in 2009.  Destined for cult status, it was a remarkably assured ballsy calling card for the twins, and their follow-up project, American Mary was hotly anticipated.

Medical student Mary (Katherine Isabelle), studies by day and practices her suturing techniques on dead turkeys by night. Money problems impinge on her studies and as she turns to alternative methods of financial sponsorship she finds herself being drawn deeper and deeper into an underground world of ‘body modification’ surgery.

This is a measured thought-provoking and at times challenging film. It slices through the layers of perceived normality, eviscerating so-called notions of ‘respectability’ and ultimately champions self-expression over conformity. It’s also very funny, although its humour is often of the blackest variety. Naturally, given its subject matter there are scenes of surgical implementation, but these are not mere cheap thrills. They are carefully staged, orchestrated by classical pieces of music (‘Ave Maria’ being used particularly memorably) and rather than play to the Grand Guignol gallery they invite a sombreness which induces hushed silence rather than nervous giggles or cheering whoops.

Katherine Isabelle as ‘Mary’ turns in a remarkable performance of range and depth rarely seen or indeed scripted in genre film making. Antonio Cupo provides excellent support as the sleazy nightclub owner ‘Billy’, and Tristan Risk’s performance as ‘Beatress’ is embodied with a truly heartbreaking pathos.

The eclectic soundtrack perfectly accompanies the film, each track or piece of music instantly conveys a scenes mood or intention, and the scope photography is striking and beautiful on its wide canvas.

American Mary will probably divide opinion, and perhaps that’s a good thing. It certainly doesn't take the easy path of pure amputation exploitation that the poster artwork may suggest, but it’s all the more richer and rewarding for it. The Soska twins have served up a delicious allegory based in part on their own experiences as film makers in the mainstream vs. indie arena, and their unique vision brings a more than welcome infusion of life.

Long live the new body modified flesh!

****(out of 5*)

Paul Worts

GRABBERS (2012)

“It’s the quiet places where all the mad shit happens”.

Director Jon Wright’s Grabbers is a good old-fashioned monster B movie. Good in the sense that it takes its time to introduce its characters (it’s genuinely likeable characters). Good in the sense that it has a no-nonsense pleasingly simple plot that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Good in the sense that it doesn’t outstay its welcome, and, above-all, good in the sense that its two main leads aren’t played by Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox. In fact, the only element that’s not old-fashioned about Grabbers is the excellent CGI creature effect work which given the film’s modest budget puts some major studios efforts to shame.

A meteor crashes into the sea off the coast of Erin Island, a sleepy Irish fishing village. A fishing boat (fatally) mistakes it for a distress flare. An old man out walking his dog along the shore comes across the sight of a pod of dead Pilot whales washed ashore, and a local fisherman catches a strange kind of lobster and puts it in his bathtub...

The three main leads that are set for a close encounter of a most undesired kind with this nasty beasty are Richard Coyle - delivering a more than passable Irish accent as local Garda officer ‘O’Shea (an alcoholic); Ruth Bradley as the seconded from the mainland Garda officer ‘Nolan’ (a workaholic); and a pompous English so-called scientific expert, ‘Dr Smith’ played by Russell Tovey. Coyle and Bradley play the ‘opposites-attract’ dynamic with panache and Tovey heartily throws himself into the comedy mix as the English now-it-all. Ably supported by some fine Irish character actors (including Bronagh Gallagher from The Commitments) there is some nice character-driven humour before the real monster mayhem takes over. The culmination of which leads to the discovery that the creature is allergic to alcohol – result: the entire village is invited to a lock-in where the basic instruction is get pissed or get eaten.

The creature and its offspring are nicely rendered by effects company Nvizible, with the main monster being a seething mass of rotating tentacles, and the scope cinematography is nicely employed both as a means of capturing the picture-postcard natural beauty of the coastal vistas, and in then jarring the tranquillity with pans that reveal dead whales on the shore, or ominous eggs nestling in the sand...

It has been mentioned that the best way to view Grabbers is after a pint or two; I would humbly suggest it’s by no means a necessary requirement to enjoy this modest but lovingly crafted creature-feature.

***(out of 5*)

Paul Worts

THE RECKONER (2012) short film

Stephen Oxborrow’s The Reckoner is in many ways as ruthlessly efficient in its execution as the film’s titled protagonist(s). 

With a negligible budget it delivers a serrated knife-edged 12 minutes. Ambitiously photographed in scope format, The Reckoner‘s taunt editing slices through its tale of fatal kidnapping. Geoffrey Robe is (worryingly) convincing as ‘Matt Gore’, the lead captor ultimately charged with carrying through on the threat to kill hostage Claire (Mel Hayward) and thereby ensuring her rich daddy will be “coming up one Father’s Day card short.”

Director Oxborrow has stated that the film is intended as an ‘extended trailer’ for a feature-length version, and the dénouement certainly opens up the possibility of expanding the concept. Given the prominent (and effective) deployment of iPhones during key scenes, perhaps Apple would consider a product placement deal? Then again, given the amount of surprisingly convincing on-screen violence, perhaps not. Indeed there is one particular sequence where – whilst the action is understandable in the context of the film’s overall context – the method of dispatch seems to display an unmerited degree of sadism.

But overall The Reckoner is a strikingly bold 12 minute calling-card. It will be fascinating to see what these clearly very talented filmmakers go on to produce next given (hopefully) a bigger budget (or indeed any budget for that matter).
(The Reckoner was a very close runner-up in the first Misty Moon International Film Festival).

Paul Worts