SACRAMENT (2014)

Directed by Shawn Ewert, Starring: Marilyn Burns, Troy Ford, Ed Guinn, Avery Pfeiffer

Horror, US, 2014, 93mins, Cert 18.

“A man’s faith allows him to eat anything, but a man whose faith is weak eats only vegetables.”

Reportedly iconic scream queen Marilyn Burns’ last (and brief) film appearance before her untimely death last year, it’s perhaps somewhat fitting that her last cinematic outing is knee-deep in TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE territory. Playing alongside her as her husband is Ed Guinn (the cattle truck driver from the original TCM), whilst the film itself is set in the middle of the Texas bible belt and features teens being the main course on the barbecue. Unfortunately there are no chainsaws in evidence, but the crazed townsfolk of ‘Middlespring’ seem to be managing just fine without one!

Call it a homage to TCM, but SACRAMENT (not to be confused with Ti West’s 2013 THE SACRAMENT), does offer a few variations on its otherwise well-trodden tale of barbecued butchery. Firstly, there’s the central gay relationship between the two male leads which takes on a greater significance in a pivotal payoff later on. Then there’s the religious slant driving the cannibalistic community to commit atrocities against all those unfortunate young ‘sinners’. And it does offer Marilyn Burns a chance (albeit briefly) to taste what it’s like to be the terroriser (and tenderiser) for once.

It’s rough round the edges, the acting is (to be charitable) variable in quality, and whilst it’s never dull it never manages to set the pulse racing or even begin to notch the terror dial above ‘1’. It originally started out as a short, which is recreated in its entirety during the film (with a different actor), and perhaps rather tellingly this remains the most effective sequence throughout. 

In some ways it’s a DTV equivalent of Herschell Gordon Lewis’ drive-in gore feast TWO THOUSAND MANIACS. But whilst it certainly offers Herschell-like portions of blood and entrails, it’s ultimately more of a gruesome snack than a gourmet blood feast. 

**(out of 5*) 

Paul Worts

DIGGING UP THE MARROW (2014)

Directed by Adam Green, Starring: Adam Green, Ray Wise, Will Barratt. Horror, US, 2014, 88mins, Cert 15.

“It’s NOT found footage...it’s footage footage” mumbles an indignant Adam Green in response to an underwhelmed Kane Hodder at one point during this hugely enjoyable fake documentary. Filmmaker Adam Green (playing himself), receives a package in his fan mail from a retired private detective named ‘William Dekker’ (Ray Wise) claiming he can prove that monsters exist. Dekker informs Green that they live in vast subterranean dwellings beneath the soil, ‘The Marrow’, and that he can take Green to one of the monsters’ bolt-holes in the nearby woods...

Two events inspired the creation of the film. Firstly, Adam Green received a detailed package from a fan claiming that ‘Victor Crowley’ from his HATCHET franchise was real.  Then, during a FANGORIA convention, an artist (and fellow fan) named Alex Pardee handed Green a pamphlet entitled: ‘Digging up the Marrow’, based on the artist’s own monster creations. Those two fortuitous fan-inspired elements combined to produce an engaging blend of (for once welcome) found footage and (scripted) semi-autobiographical fly-on-the-wall scenes filmed by real-life cinematographer Will Barratt.

Putting to one side all the genre cameos Green enlists (numerous), the heart of the film belongs to the terrific performance of Ray Wise as ‘Marrow’ expert ‘Dekker’. Wise is the anchor, delivering a straight up intense portrayal of a man who has carried the burden of this knowledge with him since childhood. The film also packs a genuine gut-punch of real-life poignancy when Dave Brockie appears on-screen as ‘Oderus Urungus’, defiantly proclaiming: “I have been a monster, I always will be a monster, and after I’m dead I will be a dead monster!” before his untimely death in March 2014.

Stepping back from all the genre references and fan pleasing in-jokes, I doubt the film will appeal nearly as much to the uninitiated non-genre viewer who may be looking for another straight up found footage fright flick (I guess they’re must be an audience for that still somewhere right?). The actual ‘found footage’ segments are punchy but brief, and the glimpses of ‘The Marrow’s’ residents are sadly briefer still. (There’s also one subtly brilliant reveal which casual viewers may miss altogether on first viewing.) Whilst Green is obviously subscribing to the ‘less is more’ adage here (unlike his approach to the HATCHET franchise), his core audience, just like Green himself, shares his love of - and sympathy for - the monster, and we’re as eager as he is in the film to uncover the creature.

DIGGING UP THE MARROW is an unapologetic heart-on-the-sleeve love letter to monsters - infused with more than a hint of NIGHTBREED – and it makes for a sweet treat. 

     

**** (out of 5*)

Paul Worts

(This review was first published on the FrightFest website.)

CHARLIE'S FARM (2014)

Directed by Chris Sun, Starring: Tara Reid, Nathan Jones, Bill Moseley, Kane Hodder. Horror, Australia, 2014, 88mins, Cert 18.

Four friends embark on a camping trip into the Australian outback to find the urban legend site known as Charlie’s Farm. Reportedly the former homestead of the Wilsons, a cannibalistic serial killing couple, legend has it that the family were murdered back in the 1980’s by an enraged local mob when their heinous crimes came to light. However, the couple had a child named Charlie, and no one knows for sure what became of him...

CHARLIE’S FARM is an Aussie HATCHET-like retro-horror which re-hashes every 80’s slasher trope without even the faintest hint of a postmodern nod or wink. Yet, whilst it’s often undeniably groan-inducing corny, it’s also a lot of fun (eventually).

Introduced as if they are auditioning for a Foster’s lager commercial, best mates Mick (Sam Coward) and Jason (Dean Kirkright) sit by a pool, beers in hand, conspiring to lure Jason’s American wife Natasha (Tara Reid) and her nubile friend Melanie (Allira Jaques) on their horror camping trip. The pair act like Sid James and Bernard Bresslaw in CARRY ON CAMPING as they set off. Along the way their drive into outback hell is strewn with horror clichés piled high by the side of the road – close-ups of road kill (Kangaroo replacing Texan armadillo), ominous close-ups of moths caught in spider webs abound; and of course the obligatory encounter with the local who warns them that they’re heading for a “dark and evil place” (translation: “You’re all doooomed”).

Writer/director Chris Sun’s script is equally up to the task of gaining a Guinness World Record nomination for clichéd dialogue – so much so that I suggest trying the following drinking game whilst viewing: down a shot every time a character asks “What’s that smell?” or Tara Reid says she has a bad feeling about this. (You’ll be drunk as a skunk by the time the end credits roll). 

Into this Aussie special brew we find two fish-out-of-water American horror icons. Bill Moseley pops up to briefly rehash his ‘Otis’ character from HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES and THE DEVIL’S REJECTS in flashback as backpacker rapist /murderer/cannibal Mr Wilson, a role Bill can by now play in his sleep. Then there’s Kane Hodder appearing (surreally) as a boxing coach who feels guilty for having given his friends phone directions to ‘Charlie’s Farm’ and sets off in hot pursuit to make sure they’re alright out there...

We have to wait a full 59 minutes before ‘Charlie’ himself, the gargantuan retired strongman/ power lifter/professional wrestler Nathan Jones (Rictus Erectus from MAD MAX: FURY ROAD) swings into action dispatching the unfortunate campers (and a couple of additional backpackers). 

Resembling some kind of genetic steroid experiment which fused together 70’s children’s TV wizard ‘Catweazle’ with ‘Harry’ from HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS, Nathan Jones’ ‘Charlie’ certainly cuts an imposing figure given his 6ft 11in frame (rounded up to a neat 7ft on the film’s artwork!). It’s rare that Kane Hodder is dwarfed on screen – but it sure happens here! (As student coordinator on the film as well, I briefly entertained hopes Kane might have been asked to re-stage the infamous boxing scene from JASON TAKES MANHATTAN – sadly no). Instead we have to make do with an unsatisfying set-to in a very dimly-lit barn. 

Thankfully though, the majority of Charlie’s exceptionally gory and creative slaughtering is easier to make out. Just as well as it boasts some impressively unrestrained (and practical) special make-up effects in a terrific 15 minutes of mayhem that would surely have earned it a place on the DPP’s list of ‘nasties’ back in the 80’s (where it feels the film kind of belongs).

If there is one deviation from the slasher blueprint in the film, it’s in the treatment of Tara Reid’s ‘final girl’. At one point I thought she might be about to attempt an Amy Steel-like ‘Ginny’ moment from FRIDAY THE 13^TH PART 2 and try to impersonate Charlie’s dead mother – but instead Director Sun opts for a far blunter, and therefore unexpectedly  abrupt conclusion.

Whilst CHARLIE’S FARM is clearly intended as a showcase for introducing the horror community to a new potential iconic horror monster, ‘Charlie’ himself isn’t any competition for Jason, Michael, Leatherface, or Victor Crowley. But (and Tara Reid in particular might disagree with me on this) given the choice, I’d much rather watch ‘Charlie’ continuing converting his farm into a human abattoir in a sequel then watching yet more crappy CG sharks flying out of tornados ad nauseam.       

***(out of 5*)

Paul Worts 

THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES (1959)

R.I.P. Sir Christopher Lee.
Directed by Terence Fisher, Starring: Peter Cushing, André Morell, Christopher Lee. Horror/Mystery, UK, 1959, 87mins, Cert PG.

“There is more evil around us here than I have ever encountered before!”, exclaims Peter Cushing’s Sherlock Holmes. Hardly dear Peter, hardly; but nevertheless there is still much to enjoy in Hammer’s rather tame telling of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Scooby-Doo tale.

Not that it starts out tame. The legend of the hell hound of the moor opens with a surprisingly sadistic flashback (pure invention on Hammer’s part) where Sir Hugo Baskerville, cheered on by a drunken court of braying aristocrats, throws a servant girl’s father headfirst through a stain glass-window before implying nothing less than gang-rape for his daughter. Upon discovering that: “The bitch has got away!” Sir Hugo releases the hounds onto the moors in pursuit and eventually tracks her down amongst the abbey ruins where he proceeds to plunge a dagger into the poor girl. However, Sir Hugo is himself in for a nasty surprise as that blood-curdling howling which spooked his hounds is about to manifest itself into an ominously looming shadow, and the servant girl’s blood dripping onto the ruins is about to be supplemented by that of Sir Hugo’s...

Not bad for an “A” certificate! However the film never really lives up to this barnstorming opening – and instead settles down into an almost cosy restrained Sunday teatime affair. Peter Cushing is reliably mesmerising as the great detective – and his prop juggling is in fine fettle – lighting his pipe with a hot piece of coal plucked from the fire with tongs; stabbing his papers onto the mantelpiece and writing down details on his shirt cuff. Holmes’ faithful companion Doctor Watson is played with admirable restraint and dignity by André Morell, and Christopher Lee seems to be relishing a rare stab at a straight up romantic lead role as the last of the Baskerville line: Sir Henry. Indeed he certainly appears comfortable enough for the most part, albeit with one obvious exception involving an unwelcomed close encounter with a (real) tarantula which crawls up his arm before being replaced with a joke shop substitute just in time for Mr Holmes to dispatch with his trusty poker.

Hammer play around with the original novels plot (most significantly in their reapportioning of the real villain’s identity), which may well have rankled with audiences familiar with the original book – but I’m guessing the punters sitting in their picture houses back then would’ve been far more outraged by the final reveal of the beast itself. It was after all a Hammer film, and the original poster artwork which had enticed them into the stalls promised them a fearsome hellhound with drooling fangs and piercing eyes of pure evil. What they got back in 1959, and what we get now in 2015 (in gloriously unforgiving HD) is a scrawny looking young Great Dane (called Colonel) in an ill-fitting mask of rabbit skin – who had to be goaded into action by the onset prop man (who he hated). Unfortunately no amount of prop-wielding dexterity or verbal sparring from Mr Cushing can compensate for the ultimate letdown of a Barbara Woodhouse trained placid pooch being obviously forced into grappling with its supposed victims. (Mr Lee might disagree somewhat as he was indeed bitten for real by Colonel in a rare unguarded moment).

Ultimately it’s this letdown of a finale which doomed the chances of further Hammer excursions into the cunning mind of the great detective. But it leaves behind a charming one-off hodgepodge with many Hammer traits present and correct: the dry ice shrouded atmospherics, the day-for-night photography, James Bernard’s iconic bombastic scoring (including snatches from his own DRACULA score) and indeed the same castle set redressed from DRACULA itself.

So, whilst Cushing’s Holmes believes that the case of the Hound of the Baskervilles is: “...a two-pipe problem”, Hammer’s THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES is really a one-hound problem. But whilst it may lack real bite, it’s hard not to feel genuine affection for this mutt in Hammer’s canon.

***(out of 5*)

Paul Worts

(This review originally appeared on the FrightFest website).

DARKEST DAY (2015)

Directed by Dan Rickard, Starring: Dan Rickard, Chris Wandell, Samantha Bolter. Horror, UK, 2015, 90mins, Cert 15.

Washed up on a deserted Brighton beach with no memory of how he got there, Dan (Dan Rickard) stumbles into the debris-strewn burnt out town. A devastating neurological virus has swept across the land - resulting in a zombie plague. After a chance encounter following a zombie-skirmish, he falls in with a small group of survivors who are hiding out in a small terrace house; plundering food and booze from nearby supermarkets and dodging the occasional rampaging zombie. But there is also a military presence in the town, and it soon becomes apparent that their mission is to hunt him down. Can Dan and his new found friends find sanctuary in the out of town ‘safe camps’ before the soldiers find him – and just why is he the army’s number one priority...?

Filmed largely over spare weekends, this micro-budgeted project (£1,000) originally started out way back in 2006 - when director Dan Rickard was just 19 years old. Enlisting the help and endless goodwill and perseverance of his friends (not to mention the occasional 50 or so volunteer zombie extras), it’s a minor miracle that the film actually got completed at all. What’s more surprising still is that it hangs together reasonably well and flows far smoother than its protracted production history would suggest. Combining a shooting schedule not too dissimilar to Peter Jackson’s first feature BAD TASTE, with a DIY-like approach to the visual effects, Rickard’s achievement is certainly commendable purely from a logistics point of view.

However, both his choice of subject matter and the largely improvised script upon which he hangs some (admittedly) impressive images on in amongst the shaky-cam approach to action, is far too much 28 DAYS LATER reliant and offers little in the way of originality in an already vastly over-populated zombie apocalypse ravaged sub-genre.

As the lead, Rickard himself admits he’s no actor (and he’d be right) – but his self-casting came from him figuring no one else could be persuaded to lay down in freezing sea-water for no money! The rest of the cast wade in as best they can with what little they’re given to work with. But if I said the line “Why’d you need artificial colouring in peas?” was the dialogue highlight for me, perhaps this might tell you something?

Visually though there are some strikingly effective images including a seemingly deserted road junction strewn with burnt out vehicles, (actually filmed in the middle of the day in between traffic incursions), and a derailed commuter train. There’s also some seamless additional CG soldiers (Rickard only had 3 army uniforms at his disposal). The Chinook (?) military helicopter shots (achieved using a model) are admirably resourceful – albeit displaying a tad too much manoeuvrability me thinks (but I’m no helicopter expert).

The zombies run full-pelt at the camera with often little more make-up applied than a smattering of red paint. There is a very brief glimpse of gut munching but nothing really juicy for gorehounds to salivate over.

At one point in the film, the survivors find themselves playing a game of cat and mouse with the tracking soldiers in a fully-stocked branch of the now defunct Blockbuster rental chain. It’s an amusing anachronism which seems somewhat appropriate given that Blockbuster and DARKEST DAY are essentially both examples of outdated concepts whose respective shelf-lives have now expired. 

But I’ve reviewed far worse, far bigger-budgeted flicks recently, so DARKEST DAY gets a (generous) three-stars rather than my increasingly common two-star rating of late.

***(out of 5*)

Paul Worts

  

POLTERGEIST (2015)

Directed by Gil Kenan, Starring: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris. Horror, US, 2015, 93mins, Cert 15.

“They’re heeeere...” (again) inside the damn telly – but this time it's a Sony flat screen. Unfortunately, despite the upgraded technology - including post-conversion stereoscopy 3D – their return ultimately amounts to little more than a disappointingly ‘flat’ experience.

Tobe Hooper’s original 3-ring circus of special effects and Spielbergian saccharine is hardly the untouchable modern classic that rose-tinted 80’s apologists make it out to be. But at least it felt like an ‘event’ experience at the time: and the skeletons were more convincing (although the fact they were real perhaps helped). In director Gil (MONSTER HOUSE) Kenan’s 2015 reboot/regurgitation, the restless CG spirits resemble bargain basement House of the Dead video game cast-offs. It’s a shame producer Sam Raimi couldn’t have dusted off a few of the original Deadites from ARMY OF DARKNESS to try and salvage the ending.

The plot follows the 1982 blueprint faithfully, albeit with a few tokenistic contemporary upgrades: iPhone; drone and Dad’s (Sam Rockwell – criminally underused) redundancy forcing the family to up sticks and move to a less desirable neighbourhood.

To be fair, the early scenes are reasonably effective and do achieve a promising frisson of foreboding: ‘Carol Anne’ stand-in Madison (wide-eyed Kennedi Clements) pushing a stick into the flowerbeds only to watch it repeatedly pop back up (presumably courtesy of the buried corpses seething with rage under the earth); and the bedroom closet door knob that provides (literally) hair-raising static fun for Madison and her brother Griffin (Kyle Catlett). There’s also a couple of nice 3D jump scares (one of which references the stacked table set-piece from the original) and a squirrel attack to rival NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION. 

But the clown scene is a let-down; a squandered opportunity given that there’s an attic full of the creepy things this time, and unlike ANNABELLE these can actually move. The other iconic sequence, the tree attack, is technically impressive, with the camera seamlessly gliding after the spindly CG branches pulling Griffin out of the house. But the tree lacks presence (no, I'm not going to say it's performance was wooden - have I just typed that?) and more closely resembles a de-needled Christmas leftover than an arboreal arbiter of the dead.

The team of paranormal investigators called in to retrieve Carol Anne –whoops, I mean Madison, barely register as characters (clearly the screenwriter didn’t give much of a hoot for them either) – apart from one frustratingly promising hallucination involving a power drill - during which I fleetingly entertained hopes of a Fulci-like CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD/GATES OF HELL 3D splatter gag. (Alas, no such luck).

And by the time Jared Harris shows up as professional ghost-whisperer Carrigan Burke - reprising Zelda Rubenstein’s line: “This house is clean” whilst wearing a silly hat - all hope is lost for the film as it’s sucked into a half-hearted CG light-show and the nasty damp patch of mould on the ceiling spits out ectoplasm and children (probably in disgust at how underwritten it feels its part is).

They were here in 1982. They were here again in 2015. On the basis of this lacklustre return I sincerely hope that’s the last we’ve seen of them.

**(out of 5*)

Paul Worts

WHAT'S LEFT OF US aka THE DESERT (EL DESIERTO) (2013)

Directed by Christopher Behl, Starring: Victoria Almeida, Lautaro Delgado, William Prociuk. Horror/drama, Argentina, 2013, 98mins, Cert 18.

Three survivors of the zombie apocalypse try to come to terms with the psychological and physical strains of an increasingly dysfunctional ménage a trois whilst living in the claustrophobic confines of a fortified house in an urban wasteland.

German writer/director Christoph Behl’s minimalist Spanish language art house zombie-film was screened at FrightFest 2013 under its original title: THE DESERT (EL DESIERTO). It played twice over the weekend as part of the Discovery Screen programme. I caught it on the Sunday evening, straight after watching several episodes of Adam Green’s horror-sitcom HOLLISTON. If I’m honest I didn’t care very much for Behl’s low-key sluggish offering at the time, but I was fully prepared to change my opinion when the chance came to re-watch it recently.

The isolation is conveyed through the sounds picked up on the external microphones set up around the house. The constant buzzing of flies provides a soundscape of decay, whilst the occasional grunt and wail conveys hints of external threat. Inside the house (where the majority of the film takes place), Axel (Lautaro Delgado) is the unfortunate ‘gooseberry’ in a love triangle, whose unrequited love for Ana is made all the more unbearable by the fact that his two companions, Ana (Victoria Almeida) and Jonathan (William Prociuk) are lovers. When he’s not spying on Ana, Axel passes the time by tattooing flies onto his body – with the idea being that once he’s covered every inch of his flesh in the inked insects he’ll leave the house.

Another pastime for all three residents involves filming private video diaries à la BIG BROTHER and then depositing the tapes in a padlocked suitcase to protect their privacy. Unfortunately, one of the housemates isn’t playing by the rules and is sneakily viewing the tapes – breaking a fundamental code in the ‘house constitution’. Meanwhile, Ana maintains an art project of her own - a memorial to each killed zombie – by recording a fictional name for each one on her wall of commemoration. As the film opens she is utilising Greek names. This theme continues when, following a ‘dare’ resulting from an ill-advised game of ‘truth or dare’, a zombie is captured and brought into the house. Ana christens him ‘Pythagoras’ (presumably because his mathematical namesake knew a thing or two about triangles, geddit? – these are the jokes folks – and trust me they’re few and far between).

The film plays like an overlong episode of THE WALKING DEAD for the art house crowd. It utilises the well-trodden (shuffled?) zombie apocalypse scenario (although doesn’t attempt any explanation or background as to how events led to this point) to isolate three characters and place them under a microscope to see how they’ll react. The problem is that whilst the film can survive without the apocalypse’s origins being sketched in, it suffers (in my opinion fatally) from failing to provide Ana, Axel and Jonathan with any kind of back stories. I found it a tough watch back in 2013 at FrightFest, and I found it an even tougher watch in 2015 as I gradually realised that the film’s shortcomings were all still very much prevalent. I simply couldn’t engage with the protagonists or their predicament on any level and as a result the film’s running time felt then (and still feels now) excruciatingly long and drawn out. It strives to say something profound and meaningful, but frankly I felt more sympathy for the chained-up ‘Pythagoras’ then I did for any of the other characters, and ultimately what it left for me just wasn’t enough.  

**(out of 5)

Paul Worts