Zombie Wicker Women - (FrightFest 2011 Part 4 in 3D)

Ladies and gentlemen, the first few lines of this blog are in 2D – however you will still need your 3D glasses...

It’s a fine crisp Saturday morning as yours truly strolls with some purpose and several egg McMuffins in his stomach toward the Empire cinema for the third and final day (for this young(ish) handsome (*cough*) attendee at least) of FrightFest 2011. I am scheduled to go troll hunting at 11am. 

Robin 'Wicker Man Hardy', R.I.P.

At this point, my regular readers (both of them), will be a tad confused as I’ve actually referenced a film for once rather than just bleating on about hunting down celebrities. Well, as I’ve stated before, I attend FrightFest primarily for the actual films on show, it just so happens that...oh look who’s propping up the bar, why it’s none other than Robin Hardy, the director of the incomparable ‘Wicker Man’ – sorry, back in a moment... 

Where was I? Oh yes, it really is all about the films. I mean, the autographs and the snaps are nice – for example – I present Miss Brittania Nicol (star of Robin Hardy’s ‘Wicker Tree’)

Brittania Nicol

– but, oh I’ve lost my thread now...

 After the fabulous ‘Troll Hunter’ and the fabulously (misjudged) ‘Wicker Tree’ I actually had enough time for a proper meal (the first since Wednesday evening). So, with much anticipatory haste, I made my way towards the West End Kitchen in Panton Street where the 3 course lunch special provided me with 3 perfectly filling and stodgy excuses to nip back to the hotel for a quick snooze before the evening’s shenanigans...

I do sincerely hope by now that you will have concluded that I am a fair-minded individual whose critical faculties are not swayed by for example, the non-show of the previously promised Anton Yelchin (R.I.P.) (aka Chekov from the ‘Star Trek’ reboot), or perhaps the previously rumoured possible appearance of Mr David Tennant, both for ‘Fright Night 3D’. I admit I was a tad disappointed, but nevertheless I cast it from my mind as I watched their crappy pointless utterly redundant remake. With my polarised 3D glasses enshrouding the already largely murky proceedings with an additional layer of darkness, it was almost impossible to make out anything that was happening on the screen in this worthless piece of disposable nonsense. (David Tennant was actually hilarious – I’ll give him that at least).

And now, before you read on, please note:  

The following description gives an accurate portrayal of the actual events which befell this blogger on the night of August 28^th 2011 in the Empire Leicester Square Cinema.

A quick recap: on Thursday I’d printed out stills for Diana Rigg to sign – sadly not needed; on Saturday I’d printed out stills for Anton Yelchin to sign – sadly not needed; I had nothing printed out for David Tennant – (I was just going to wing that one somehow), and by now I’d come to the realisation that my carefully chosen stills of the deliciously kooky Angela Bettis were to remain carefully sandwiched between cardboard in my bag as she clearly hadn’t shown up for Lucky McKee’s extraordinarily powerful film ‘The Woman’. Still, all was by no means lost, as my spidey-sense detected the striking presence of Pollyanna McIntosh, the star, the ‘Woman’ herself. It was 10 minutes before the screening and, as luck would have it, she was only chatting to one guy in the foyer as I approached with a delicately judged nonchalant sideways approach, like a respectful crow.

Clearly my approach had the desired effect as Pollyanna immediately turned toward her respectful crow-like suitor and engaged me in delightful conversation. I remarked that I was surprised she wasn’t already surrounded by throngs of fans and admirers and I predicted with all sincerity that this would indeed be the case once we’d had a chance to watch her performance on the screen. She seemed genuinely surprised by this and asked if I really thought so? I replied most certainly: “...unless of course you’re completely shit”. (I admit I’m not proud dear reader of my vulgar choice of words at that time, but my dear friend Pollyanna had clearly consumed several glasses of wine (as had I)  and I felt I had to somehow rein in my flattery as I was clearly coming across as far too sycophantic. She found me amusing, perhaps even dare I say it charming, and insisted on having a photo with me (that was a first). The original gentlemen who had been chatting with her had returned by this point and kindly agreed to take the photo. (Pollyanna insisted on several I might add). I thanked her and after taking my leave from this striking red-haired temptress I practically bounded into the auditorium, took my seat and waited with breathless anticipation for ‘The Woman’.

Victoria Hopkins (I think)

To rapturous and deserved applause Lucky McKee took to the stage after the credits for his extraordinary film had rolled. I eagerly strained my neck to catch a glimpse of Pollyanna. I had just witnessed a truly remarkable performance – she had absolutely transformed herself for the role – she was completely unrecognisable from the delightful creature I’d been chatting with some 2 hours previously. And then her name was being called out and as I sat up on my chair to get a better view a completely different woman took to the stage...

I was stunned. I leapt from my seat and sprinted up the aisle back to the foyer where I immediately spotted the unmistakable red-hair of the actress formerly known (to me at least) as Pollyanna McIntosh, talking to a fan. I grabbed a passerby and asked him who that woman with the red-hair was – he hadn’t a clue (join the club I thought). The fan talking to our mysterious lady turned back into the auditorium and I practically charged after him and just managed to catch him as he was about to mount the upper tier steps to the circle. Slightly breathless, slightly more confused, and slightly more still, embarrassed, I humbly enquired who my fellow FrightFester had been conversing with:

Pollyanna McIntosh (I think)

 “Oh that’s that actress from ‘Zombie Women of Satan".

My partially blank look prompted further information:

"From last year's FrightFest".

Ok I thought, but why was she here this year?

 “I think she’s got a small part in one of the films in the Discovery Screen...”.   

I hastily searched IMDB and would just like to say now for the record that Victoria Hopkins is a fine actress, undoubtedly destined for greatness – but was not in Lucky McGee’s ‘The Woman’

Pollyanna McIntosh (who on the other hand was) is also a fine actress, so can we keep this whole embarrassing incident to ourselves?

I thank you for your discretion dear reader. Until next time then, cheerio!