Directed
by: James Dunnison (8 episodes) and 16 others. Starring: Laura Vandervoort,
Greyston Holt, Greg Bryk, Paul Greene. Fantasy/horror/drama, Canada, 2014-16, 3
Seasons. Now available on Netflix UK.
Elena Michaels (Laura Vadervoort) is the only female werewolf in the world. Having left her pack and her werewolf ex-fiancé back at the Pack’s ancestral homestead in upstate New York, Elena is trying to carve out a ‘normal’ life in the big city (Toronto) as a photographer whilst her human boyfriend Phillip is kept in the dark about her true nature. Unfortunately a mutt (rogue werewolf) begins slaughtering humans and leaving the chewed carcasses in the Pack’s territory, thereby bringing both unwanted cop attention on the pack and with it the risk of exposure to the human world. The pack’s ‘alpha’ summons all the wolfy clan back, including Elena, the pack’s best tracker. Balancing her imbedded loyalties to the pack whilst juggling her current lover in Toronto and her ex’s persistence proves increasingly challenging as the rogue hunt is merely a prelude to a coordinated pincer movement by an organised bunch of mutts intent on overthrowing the pack’s reign by marshalling some very unsavoury characters. Or, as Elena so eloquently surmises:
“Someone’s turning psychotic murderers into werewolves.” (oh my!).
Based on ‘The Women of the Underworld’ books by Kelly Armstrong (‘Bitten’ being the first), this three season Canada television series originally ran in the UK on the Syfy channel. Season one plays like a werewolf soap opera/mob drama with the werewolf version of Don Corleone (‘Jeremy’, pack alpha) played by Greg Bryk who acts through his teeth. Surprisingly, there’s a liberal dollop of soft-core bonking in BITTEN, and a sizable dose of naked buttocks on display. So much so, the series could easily have been titled ‘Bottom’, or perhaps even ‘Bitten on the Bottom’. The lion’s share of posterior posing is assigned to Greyston Holt’s clenching ‘Clay’, (Elena’s ex: still obsessively in love with her - not yet forgiven for that bite which turned her). When he’s not flashing his rear end, Holt acts through his furrowed brow which seems in a permanent state of overhanging curdled angst. To complete the love triangle we have Paul Greene’s bland human boyfriend Phillip (a taller buffer version of ‘Prince Charming’ from ABC’S ONCE UPON A TIME fairytale series).
Laura Vadervoort (SMALLVILLE, V) is every fanboy’s dream pin-up, and for their first glimpses of her character Elena they are treated to her naked back (or rather her body-double’s) as she’s enthusiastically riding boyfriend Philip. Unfortunately for him, Elena has to hastily employ an impromptu precautionary lupine coital interruptus as she feels the wolf inside her bubbling up. Unlike most fictional werewolves, BITTEN’s are largely able to control and regulate their transformations at will and are seemingly not beholden to the cycle of the moon. However Elena has kept it in for too long and it wants out, so after hurriedly dressing and spinning implausibly gullible Phillip a yarn about a late night photo shoot she’s quick as a whippet out into the backstreets of Toronto and promptly stripping off again (neatly folding her designer clothes for retrieval later) before a quick perfunctory computer generated transformation into one seriously cute wolf. Creature wise (and night-vision POV) we’re more in WOLFEN territory than say the biped incarnations of DOG SOLDIERS. And as Elena is so meticulous in preserving her attire, all hopes of a scene in which she wakes up in the wolf enclosure of Toronto Zoo and has to steal a schoolboy’s balloon to preserve her dignity are soon dashed.
The CG transformation sequences are treated with an almost dismissive matter-of-factness, an elongated hand here, an extended foot there, and the odd spine-rippling effect which briefly turns their backs into hairy Toblerones. The actual finished product wolves are passable; well let’s say at least several Windows upgrades on from SHARKNADO’s VFXs.
Plotting wise, there’s an exasperatingly inconsistent approach to the werewolves heightened senses and superhuman strengths. Elena can rip hearts and puncture veins with without blinking, yet she and the pack are often reduced to chopsocky combat with opponents who have the wherewithal to bring guns and poisoned blades to the battle. And as for the shaky central premise about Elena being the only female werewolf because, wait for it, “No woman has ever survived the change” (presumably not a reference to the menopause), Marsha Quist from THE HOWLING (to pick but one), might have something to say about how ‘rare’ they are...
Season Two ups the supernatural stakes with the introduction of witchcraft in the shape of an evil male witch named ‘Aleister’ (yep, the only one in existence) hell-bent on fulfilling the witches long held prophecy that a male witch will bring about the ‘Undoing.’ When Elena is captured by Aleister for blood experimentation, the werewolves form an uneasy alliance with the local coven to unite against a common foe. Unlike Season One’s 13-episodes, this and Season Three benefit from a more streamlined and better paced reduced package of 10 episodes apiece.
Season Three brings with it revelations about Elena’s parents (a deliberately unsolved crossword clue left over from Season One), another challenge to the pack’s status, and in a development so obvious it’s only surprising it took till Season Three, Elena assumes the role of pack alpha and takes drastic measures which will change the lives of the werewolves forever.
Despite its clunky plotting, risible dialogue, and bland casting, I confess that after taking a few tentative bites of BITTEN I found myself practically wolfing down its soap-like guilty pleasures with an unseemly relish. Yes, I became smitten with BITTEN.
***(out of 5*)
Paul Worts
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